monday monday

first, i have to present this and confess... 

... that i brutally attacked my smoke alarm last night.  you may not believe this, but the thing is still actually attached to the wall. underneath is a pot-holder, which i nestled into a space (after yanking the top part of the alarm off) to pad any remaining smoke-smell, but also... well, i dont know why. i was frustrated, and i forgot about it, and i cut my hand open in the fiasco. in fact, i didnt even realize where that pot holder was until about 15 minutes later when i had to take my roasting eggplant out of the oven.  go figure.

this morning i had a doctors appt over at mount sinai, miami beach edition. they told me on the phone how to get there, and i left 35 minutes for a 10 minute drive, but i still barely made it on time. it was a hugeeeee complex, which i guess in retrospect is normal for a hospital (come on annie), but i wasnt really expecting it to be so complicated. i parked first at the "foundation" building, which is apparently just offices; then got lost at a service entrance; then made it to the real complex, but had to back out of a parking area because it was too far away and almost hit the person behind me (of course i didnt look before i put the car in reverse); then i finally made it to a parking garage, where i had to PAY $5 to park. i mean, what??? of course, i also happened to park as far away from the building where i needed to be as possible, and instead, walked into the wrong entrance.  luckily, i found some guy in blue scrubs and asked him how to get to the "green pavillion" (no, the place is NOT color coordinated, although that would help- its just donors' names, so there is no rhyme or reason to the place). he took me through some top-secret "MEDICAL PERSONNEL ONLY" doors, which i was a little hesitant about, but hey, you know. he was wearing scrubs.   wholly exciting.

when i signed up with this doctor, i thought, oh how nice, she is affiliated with mt sinai, like heather(!) and thats good, you know, a hospital, thats safe. but when i was there, it kind of freaked me out. like, tons of people on stretchers going along the hall, to radiation, or surgery, or whatever, and then theres me, looking like a total nerd in khakis (please, i know, its my second time ever wearing these pants in like 3 years) and a button down shirt and a sweater and gold shoes, with my patent leather barneys handbag, looking around for my drs office.  i was probably everything these people hated- healthy and annoyingly going to work.  the whole scene was disturbing.  not to mention, im sure, full of germs. but you know, it does make you appreciate not being sick, having your health, and thankful that you are not in the hospital to visit a sick friend or relative, so, in retrospect, it wasnt a horrible thing. 

in fact, once i got into the drs office, all calamity stopped, i was wonderful, she was wonderful, and it was a great experience overall. i wont go into drs office details since (a) no one really wants to hear about that and (b) its gross/boring, but still.     i was also elated that she noticed i took vitamins and calcium supplements. she was like my bff! she actually said, "after reading your chart, i thought maybe you were in the medical profession!". i mean.... best compliment ever. (if only she knew how much artificial cool whip i go through in a week... maybe we wouldnt be besties after all). on second thought, you know what?! im not ashamed. they should add calcium to this shit, then everyone could eat it in relative-peace, sans any risk of osteoporosis.

another random musing here. you know when you do pilates or yoga and the instructor says something like, "move back your sits bones." they arent really talking about any bone involving sits. they are talking about the fat on your butt, your buttocks. they are saying, pull back your flabby butt so you can sit upright. i mean, i get it, "sits bones" sounds better, but i always feel like im a small child and they are pacifying me. i guess theres really no other way to say it without making the ballerinas doing pilates feel even worse about their enormous fat selves, but still.

i have a serious problem, also, that i would like to bring to light. i dont know how to organize my necklaces. this isnt a joke. if you have a way of hanging them in some way so that they dont get all tangled, i need to know. i currently am working on unknotting three of my favorite necklaces and its killing me that i cant wear any of them. no matter what i do... no avail. i considered hanging some from my light fixtures in the bathroom, but then thought better against it (im sure there would be some burning involved, or breaking the light fixture, or whatever. believe me, if it could happen, im sure it would). so... help a sister out here. with minimal wall damage. 

also, best discovery ever? using my photo printer to actually print photos! it is so easy & the pictures have been coming out very well. so now you can all know about how i am making myself a little ongoing framing-center, so i can hang pictures of all of you in my house and always have the buddies around. pretty nice huh?

ughghg the airconditioning in here is psycho. i have to go put on long sleeves.  did i just drink coffee tonight without knowing it? i need to relax. time to turn off the slutty desperate real life housewives of the o.c. and read about laura bush's pseudo-fictionalized life. 

xoxo