so as you know, Thursday night kari & nic came into town; after a run on the beach, i scooped them from the airport and we headed home. We all needed to eat dinner (it was probably 10.30 by that point) but didnt want anything too heavy, so of course we went to this local... uruguayan meat spot. I know, random. Anyway i had heard it was supposed to be really good-and it was only a block or so away. Kari & i shared this huge house-speciality plate that involved a base-layer of french fries, “russian salad” (potatoes with peas, in mayo), and green salad; on top of that was a large layer of beef; on top of that, ham; on top of that, cheese; and on the very top, fried eggs. It was a mound of food. For less than $20. We shared one pitcher too many, smoked one too many camel lights, and then headed home. 
that magical dish...
i didnt sleep well, but i cant necessarily blame that on our random dinner- it might also be attributed to sleeping on the couch, or the fact that there was dust all around my apt that was making me all stuffy; or maybe that was all just a by-product of eating meat late at night and drinking too much budweiser. Either way, i shook it off (mostly) to get some stuff done at work.
Friday early evening, they took the bus down & we met at montys (of course; its kind of hard to take a visitor around miami without involving a stop there). We waited in the raw bar line for about an hour while we drank our $4 sapphire and tonics; nicole & her husband were there too, so that was a lot of fun. Nic commented at one point that it was nice that monty’s had such a random crowd: if it existed in nyc, it would be full of douchebags. (Then i broke the news to them: that was sadly why i hadn’t actually been back in a while, post spring-break scene). After giving them their first taste of stone crabs (and oysters of course), we headed out for actual food- to the big pink. (Truthfully i guess none of us were starving, but it was also that its quick, easy, and laidback). We sat outside and shared a bunch of random assorted bits for dinner, and then headed home around 11 or 12. An early night (well knowing that i had it in for them the next day)...
Saturday morning we all got up around 9.30am- gotta enjoy the vacay, right? Nic wanted to see some of the art deco stuff, so we bathing-suited up and headed down to south beach so we could stroll up and down and be touristy. Breakfast time meant some random bad-restaurant on ocean drive, which of course had some deal for like, $3.50 breakfast. So of course we wanted bloody maries. And then they unexpectedly came in these head-sized glasses- must have been 64 oz (and, notably, not priced on the menu, but came out to $25 each). Sure breakfast itself was no great shakes, but our drinks went straight to the head, as we sat outside looking at the beach, the people walking by, and laughing and sucking it all down in a straw. This was followed by more walking up on ocean drive; a few random stops in souvenir stores; the procurement of some ruby-red-and-tonics (an amazingly refreshing beverage that i am now a great fan of) in to-go cups so that we could continue our walk north to our ultimate plan: pool hopping.
First up was the raleigh hotel: we walked right in, towards the pool, and grabbed some towels (the attendant was gone) and a cabana and nestled right in, stripping down to our suits & then going for a swim. We couldnt have been there that long, but were delighted that the plan was, so far, going according to plan. We dried off, wrapped in our fancy towels, and then headed out the back for a walk on the beach. Once we got to the gansevort, we went straight up to the hotel rooftop pool– the last time i was there was when elana, jedd & candice were all in town, and candice was supposed to have her party there; it was super empty which was nice– but of course, this time, it being hot and gorgeous and sunny and a Saturday afternoon, the place was packed. We got some huge glasses of champagne, and all managed to sneak by the check-in security some way or another; we were almost caught when we sat in a cabana (security quickly came over to usher us away, lest we pay the $279/day for the use of lounge chairs) and they finally set us up with some folding lounge chairs (not as comfy of course but still, pretty nice), and enjoyed the gorgeous view of the sky & beach & ocean. Continuing the inebriated high, we sat up there for a while, before we realized it was about 3pm and we needed to eat something after consuming our body weight in alcohol, so we started a never-ending walk down washington to get some cuban sandwiches from a little hole in the wall. This walk progressed even further down to joe’s stone crab, where we got kari a “small” key lime pie. (I say “small” because it can easily feed at least 6, to a sickening point).
Friday early evening, they took the bus down & we met at montys (of course; its kind of hard to take a visitor around miami without involving a stop there). We waited in the raw bar line for about an hour while we drank our $4 sapphire and tonics; nicole & her husband were there too, so that was a lot of fun. Nic commented at one point that it was nice that monty’s had such a random crowd: if it existed in nyc, it would be full of douchebags. (Then i broke the news to them: that was sadly why i hadn’t actually been back in a while, post spring-break scene). After giving them their first taste of stone crabs (and oysters of course), we headed out for actual food- to the big pink. (Truthfully i guess none of us were starving, but it was also that its quick, easy, and laidback). We sat outside and shared a bunch of random assorted bits for dinner, and then headed home around 11 or 12. An early night (well knowing that i had it in for them the next day)...
Saturday morning we all got up around 9.30am- gotta enjoy the vacay, right? Nic wanted to see some of the art deco stuff, so we bathing-suited up and headed down to south beach so we could stroll up and down and be touristy. Breakfast time meant some random bad-restaurant on ocean drive, which of course had some deal for like, $3.50 breakfast. So of course we wanted bloody maries. And then they unexpectedly came in these head-sized glasses- must have been 64 oz (and, notably, not priced on the menu, but came out to $25 each). Sure breakfast itself was no great shakes, but our drinks went straight to the head, as we sat outside looking at the beach, the people walking by, and laughing and sucking it all down in a straw. This was followed by more walking up on ocean drive; a few random stops in souvenir stores; the procurement of some ruby-red-and-tonics (an amazingly refreshing beverage that i am now a great fan of) in to-go cups so that we could continue our walk north to our ultimate plan: pool hopping.
First up was the raleigh hotel: we walked right in, towards the pool, and grabbed some towels (the attendant was gone) and a cabana and nestled right in, stripping down to our suits & then going for a swim. We couldnt have been there that long, but were delighted that the plan was, so far, going according to plan. We dried off, wrapped in our fancy towels, and then headed out the back for a walk on the beach. Once we got to the gansevort, we went straight up to the hotel rooftop pool– the last time i was there was when elana, jedd & candice were all in town, and candice was supposed to have her party there; it was super empty which was nice– but of course, this time, it being hot and gorgeous and sunny and a Saturday afternoon, the place was packed. We got some huge glasses of champagne, and all managed to sneak by the check-in security some way or another; we were almost caught when we sat in a cabana (security quickly came over to usher us away, lest we pay the $279/day for the use of lounge chairs) and they finally set us up with some folding lounge chairs (not as comfy of course but still, pretty nice), and enjoyed the gorgeous view of the sky & beach & ocean. Continuing the inebriated high, we sat up there for a while, before we realized it was about 3pm and we needed to eat something after consuming our body weight in alcohol, so we started a never-ending walk down washington to get some cuban sandwiches from a little hole in the wall. This walk progressed even further down to joe’s stone crab, where we got kari a “small” key lime pie. (I say “small” because it can easily feed at least 6, to a sickening point).
When we got outside of joe’s, i was so hot & tired and my feet were so swollen that i insisted we take a cab back to the car, parked about a mile north on collins.
While kari & nic teased me about it (what kind of ny-er takes a cab to her car?), we hailed one and got in; the driver asked if we had eaten at joes, he said he heard it
was good, and we said, oh no, we just stopped to buy a pie.
“A pie? What’s that?”
you know, key lime. A pie. A key lime pie.
“No, I don’t know what the pie is. I’ve never heard of it.” (Bear in mind, hes foreign. But still).
pie, you know? Like cake?
“AHHhhh like cake. Ok. Yes.” at which moment he looked out the window and saw a guy with a huge suitcase, yelled out the window at him -
“you going to the airport?”; the guy nodded.
The driver then turned to us and said, “sorry, i’ve got to take this guy to the airport.”
Then nic asked, “so you want us to get out?”
And the cabdriver said, “yes, get out. Oh dont worry, you dont have to pay me.”
This he oddly said, unironically, even though he had only driven us approximately 1 block. Somehow we all were like “oh right, ok.” and got out.
Most likely we were all terribly tired from being drunk all morning and couldnt really process what was going on, until we all got out, and said, “wait... did that
just happen?” people in miami are so nice!
the aforementioned key-lime deliciousness. We ended up walking the remainder of the way north, with some stops to peer into tattoo parlors (an ongoing theme of the weekend was that we would all get matching tattoos, which then morphed into ridiculous tattoo ideas, like just getting a stone-crab claw tattooed on my arm. Which i did. Just kidding. For now anyway).
Eventually we got home, ate some pie, and then went to the roof to nap in the last of the sun; the wind was whipping around, and we all were dragging from having drankso much in the heat, but eventually caught a minor-bit of shut eye– necessary forrallying that night. After waking up further with some showering, we headed out to a neighborhood spot i hadnt yet been to - “shuckers” - off of the 79th st causeway, attached to a hotel, but overlooking the water; like a poor man’s montys– in fact, they have a raw-bar happy hour Monday thru Friday, but only from 5-7pm (probably why ive never been); we sat there for a while before kari decided she needed a redo of the stone crabs; so back down again to joe’s, for the second time in one day. Of course, deliciousness ensued, minus the fact that their oysters are pasteurized, which means they are not as delicious and dont have the same oyster-juicey-brine because they are flash-heated before served to “kill 99% of the bacteria.” well, let me tell you, lady. I dont care about the bacteria, or whether ill get sick from them. I want them raw!
Saturday night then was well on its way: after joes, we had a brief stop at buck 15 (line was too long, although there was a spotting of maybe 2 hipsters, amongst many other annoying others); champagne on the sidewalk at a cafe on lincoln road (we got tired of waiting for a server so i just brought some back to the bar, then we ended up walking away with the glasses); pictures from a photobooth at bowlmore lanes; and a drive up to the fountainbleu (where we waited for the overly apathetic bartender to serve us, looked at the annoying throngs waiting to get into liv, and ended up sitting out by the pool drinking until we were kicked out of there, around 2.30).
Once the hotel-bar closed, we went home, changed, kari & nic packed while i drank a diet coke, and then we headed back out to sandbar for the 3.30-5am one-last-drink, where justin met us coming south from a bar uptown, ordered a drink, and then couldnt even look at it before he left.
Eventually we got home, ate some pie, and then went to the roof to nap in the last of the sun; the wind was whipping around, and we all were dragging from having drankso much in the heat, but eventually caught a minor-bit of shut eye– necessary forrallying that night. After waking up further with some showering, we headed out to a neighborhood spot i hadnt yet been to - “shuckers” - off of the 79th st causeway, attached to a hotel, but overlooking the water; like a poor man’s montys– in fact, they have a raw-bar happy hour Monday thru Friday, but only from 5-7pm (probably why ive never been); we sat there for a while before kari decided she needed a redo of the stone crabs; so back down again to joe’s, for the second time in one day. Of course, deliciousness ensued, minus the fact that their oysters are pasteurized, which means they are not as delicious and dont have the same oyster-juicey-brine because they are flash-heated before served to “kill 99% of the bacteria.” well, let me tell you, lady. I dont care about the bacteria, or whether ill get sick from them. I want them raw!
Saturday night then was well on its way: after joes, we had a brief stop at buck 15 (line was too long, although there was a spotting of maybe 2 hipsters, amongst many other annoying others); champagne on the sidewalk at a cafe on lincoln road (we got tired of waiting for a server so i just brought some back to the bar, then we ended up walking away with the glasses); pictures from a photobooth at bowlmore lanes; and a drive up to the fountainbleu (where we waited for the overly apathetic bartender to serve us, looked at the annoying throngs waiting to get into liv, and ended up sitting out by the pool drinking until we were kicked out of there, around 2.30).
Once the hotel-bar closed, we went home, changed, kari & nic packed while i drank a diet coke, and then we headed back out to sandbar for the 3.30-5am one-last-drink, where justin met us coming south from a bar uptown, ordered a drink, and then couldnt even look at it before he left.
one of the many rounds of champers during the weekend: stolen glass set #2The three of us held our ground though, stayed strong, and made it to last call—this, of course, while all the total weirdos who hang out at sandbar until 5am on a Saturday were doing their thing- (1) the blonde girl with big tits who was shoving them in everyone’s face and obviously wanted someone to take her home– kari kept saying, “its so sad she has such low self-esteem” - at one point, the girl was literally sitting on the bar, and then had someone feed her a banana; (2) the mis-matched couple making out right next to us (she was like a high-class prostitute while he was just odd looking), (3) the sketchy dudes playing pool (4) the guy who tries to enter the bar once the door is locked, ostensibly because he was the one who had been hanging out with the blonde girl in point (1) above in the first place, but left for some reason and then came back to retrieve her and (5) the other guy who tries to order after last call– as if he hadnt heard them yelling it.
We then walked the block over to ihop for last minute coffee, water and egg refueling (not knowing whether it was a good idea, or a bad idea?) before we threw everything in the car & scooted back to the airport. A night of no sleep! Who does that anymore? It was a ton of fun, although of course impossible at times– so horribly painful, exhausting, and annoying. Either way, i was impressed with us all.
We then walked the block over to ihop for last minute coffee, water and egg refueling (not knowing whether it was a good idea, or a bad idea?) before we threw everything in the car & scooted back to the airport. A night of no sleep! Who does that anymore? It was a ton of fun, although of course impossible at times– so horribly painful, exhausting, and annoying. Either way, i was impressed with us all.
misery loves company!Not so impressive, though, was when i got back to my apt at about 6.45am, decided to try and tidy up, took a shower, and got into bed at 8.00– only to then fall asleep for about an hour and a half until i woke up and couldnt sleep any longer. As if the exhaustion had totally consumed me. Also, it was bright in my apt. and it looked gorgeous out. So i spent the rest of the day nestled on the roof soaking in the sun, alternating between napping and reading and listening to music before i hibernated for a while inside with takeout-sushi, and then took a much belabored walk to the supermarket where i could barely handle anyone (i even discarded several items last minute to get in on the short line). Me and budweiser and tylenol p.m. got together at about 8.45pm, and then i was in bed by 9. Soundest night of sleep in a while!
Still though, for most of the day i felt like i was still drunk and/or just very hungover and miserable and/or so, so out of it. When i wasnt in a bathing suit, i was in an oddly matched black-leggings-and-black-inside-out-t-shirt-and-white-sunglasses ensemble. Still though, the important point is that i survived and had a wonderful time– collecting some stolen champagne glasses & towels along the way. You cant say that every weekend, but oh, only if you could...
Still though, for most of the day i felt like i was still drunk and/or just very hungover and miserable and/or so, so out of it. When i wasnt in a bathing suit, i was in an oddly matched black-leggings-and-black-inside-out-t-shirt-and-white-sunglasses ensemble. Still though, the important point is that i survived and had a wonderful time– collecting some stolen champagne glasses & towels along the way. You cant say that every weekend, but oh, only if you could...
xoxoxo
2 comments:
Absolutely Fabulous!!! I can't believe the contraband stolen, the fried pork/ham/steak/egg/mayonnaise potatoes consumed, the drink purchased then discarded (by Justin). You Skidmore kids are off the charts!
This has me totally excited to come visit. Raw oysters, please!
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