in love with the tea

every year around this time, i brew myself a little obsession. i fondly remember long hours in the library during finals time, trying to stay warm and hydrated, drinking this beverage and falling head over heels. ok, an exaggeration? not really. its candy cane lane baby, decaf green tea with vanilla and peppermint, and i am the proud owner and constant drinker now in the office. i swear, its the only thing that has gotten me through this week thus far. that, and my apparent turbo-determination to finish my current project in preparation for the next two before the last week of the month. a little hectic. (actually, given the hecticness, i am similarly starting to worry that at some point, the boss will steal mlk day away from us, even though it is again a federal holiday. we all recall what happened to veteran's day though-- straight out the window, predictably perhaps, without so much as an apology or concern. such is the life of working for someone who could be deemed, from time to time, a little obsessive).

(in fact, to continue the tangent, i am actually considering signing up for a run on mlk day morning so that i have to do something fun beforehand. however, this run takes place in an area that, i have been told, is featured in the video game 'grand theft auto' and surrounds projects. now, runs usually take place somewhere scenic, nice, whatever. but a run near burned-out cars, drug dealers, and scary streets? i mean... i dont quite get it. still though, the motivational factor of a day off, in conjunction with the understanding that i will be the proud owner ofa t-shirt that melds both mlk jr and obama together- not kidding - it kind of still makes me want to go).

sadly, internet is officially out at the homestead so i am writing this asap while i finish up work for the day. i kept telling myself that i would finish it all today, finish finish finish. but i am stuck with another edit, printed out in front of me. my goal is to truck through at least half of it so that i can officially move on in the morning, but it still remains a struggle. im sure you can understand patty- but editing one's own work when you feel like youre swimming in incoherence (even if it is, actually, ok writing) is a horrible feeling. i like to distract myself instead with little things, like did i cite that case right? but then remember while im in the middle of that minor project, i actually hate checking citations and it brings back all the horrors and intense rushie-feelings that i had when i used to have to cite-check for the journal in law school. alas alas. we always tend to forget these things, dont we? or at least i do. [paint a glossy picture over it, try not to remember the worst of it... and then you are back there, all over again].

yes actually, speaking OF! last week i had a nightmare that i was late to take the bar exam, and i was running through my elementary school (or was it bronx science?) and i couldnt find my assigned room, and no one knew where i should go, and etc etc etc... it was utter and complete panic. i woke up so tense, scared, horrified that i had showed up 45 minutes late to take the bar. its as if all my fears from childhood reoccurred in a more-recent terror. (i used to have repeating nightmares that i was stuck in my elementary school staircase, running up and down. dont ask. it perhaps had nothing to do with my similar fear of having to walk down my friend lucy's very long hallway in her railroad apartment up on 101st street and broadway). (god, what a great apartment that would be to live in now...).

the week is shaping up and shaping out, and tomorrow will be thursday already. as part of my mom's new years resolution for me (um not kidding), i am trying to make more friends. yay! tonight oddly enough, candice is back in town- although im not sure i can handle not heading-out until 10.30pm on a schoolnight. lame? perhaps. but then again, so, most likely, is the scene. tomorrow night ashley & rachel (the cupcake bakers who work next door) and i will go to a happy hour at la la la monty's, my beloved outdoors bar by the bay, and then i will either go with rachel to a movie w some other girls, or watch football with ashley. honestly, i cant picture either one really-- marley and me versus football? which is more tortorous? but i figure after some oysters and liquorish beverages, i could go either way. (or you know, go home). friday the office-mates and i are out to drinks & dinner as well, although weve all been pretty fickle about picking a locale. my first thought always is of course, montys, but i guess its not as classy as some would like. (chanel's major complaint? the drinks taste like dish water. i must note my strong objections). and saturday, who knows- maybe another night out with ashley. i must also get my little run in so that i dont choke at the halfise, and am totally loving my new nike chip for my shoe. oh, how i missed it.thats the week in a nutshell.

in the meantime, i continue to drink my luscious tea, try to edit, and go back and forth as to whether i can wait out the dark, crazy rainstorm that just errupted outside. we shall see....
miss you kids

xoxo