denoumont

its that time in the story, right after the climax, when you finish up the book and youre like... huh. oh. yes. ok. well. hmm.

got home from atlanta earlier this afternoon. i had certainly had my fill of the week there. we did have a lovely dinner on tuesday night with a bunch of people, and i ate shrimp & grits (!!!) which i was very pleased with. the week just seemed to go on forever, thats all. i guess im used to having mornings to do my thing; to wake up, adjust to the office, get my private space & time to work on things; then, after lunch, i can handle interactions & talking and distractions much better. but this past week, it was like 100% "on" time- from 8.30 to 6pm, at the least. and then- sometimes that didnt even end once we left the office. rather, it turned into a dinner where id have to keep being pleasant when all i really wanted (in this order) was : (1) baked potato from room service (i have no explanation for this); (2) run; (3) bath or long shower (4) bed. 

instead, the nights went something like this: leave work; travel en mass to dinner plans; worry about how bad the food would be, since we were in atlanta (sorry its true); worry about whether it is permissible to order alcohol with everyone present (then deciding that i couldnt really worry too much, and ordered sparkling rose. bitches); eat dinner while sitting through same stories i have heard 50x already from my boss; smile and act nice when people ask what im doing next year; somehow get through at least 2, possibly 3 courses; go home and avoid eating mini bar trash or alcohol; sleep until the wake up call early the next morning for another date with the hotel treadmill. sound miserable? it was, in parts. some of it was okay too. i guess im still kind of all-wound-up about the whole trip. its hard to finally feel less jumpy.

last night blake organized a happy hour, so we stormed into a hotel bar in downtown atlanta that was seriously not expecting to serve so many people. it took several attempts for the one, singular, bartender to understand that i wanted a "dirty martini" rather than "a ginger vodka". i mean, do they sound the same to you? painful. after hanging out and meeting some more of the people who work in our atlanta office, i skirted away to meet up with none other than our high school georgia resident, mike chambers. totally random. apparently no one ever comes to visit him in georgia, so when he saw on facebook that i was in town, he offered to drive the 1+ hour to come hang out. we grabbed some drinks in a sketch irish pub nearby, and then hopped a cab, went over to meet another of his friends at georgia tech; walked around trying to find more bars/food; eventually accomplished said task; and eventually cabbed it back to the hotel.  

i guess i was feeling a little skeptic about the night but i had a good time- its so funny when you meet up with people that you havent seen in years. i continued to be in awe that mike has traveled the world as part of the military, and sadly is no longer that boy in the flannel shirt with the cut-off-sleeves like joey from "blossom." i mean, part of me still expects him to look that way! although i guess thats generally what happens when you dont hang out with the same people for like, 10 years. right. it was nice to bop around, also, and see a bit more of atlanta. as far as i can tell, there are some very empty, long streets, where theres no one walking, and there are few cabs, and yet... its a city. i mean, can anyone explain this? it was as if you took a really long walk around wall street at night looking for action. except, you actually might find something there. where we were? not so much. im going to chaulk it up to us not being in the hippest neighborhood, although it was a little eerie.

this morning i remembered that i dont usually drink that much, because i was completely and utterly hungover and could barely move. thankfully, my drunk self knew that the night before, because i had ordered room service coffee & eggs for 7.20 delivery. thankfully, that helped nurse me out of a dangerous place; my stomach is simply not to be fucked with. i barely stayed awake in court this morning, narrowly avoided punching my coworker nick in the face a few times; and thanked little baby jesus that our secretary booked my seat in the airplane very, very far from nick & the boss. this meant i could read the nytimes magazine from last weekend, about women's sexuality, without feeling incredibly, out of control awkward. could you even imagine? you mighta coulda heard a pin drop otherwise. (thats southern speak).

im just looking forward to some serious decompression time this weekend. my dad is flying into florida tomorrow night, and then will drive down sunday to hang out. yay!! this also means i should probably clean, or at least not have crap all strewn about in here. my belly is full of my favorite random crap  for dinner- popcorn, spinach, saltine crackers and jam?! - right about now, i wouldnt move for the world.

xoxo

Made It Past Round 1 of the Fulbright...

I just got the email saying the National Screening Committee is pleased to inform me they've approved my application, and are sending it along to the Korean government peeps (essentially, the Anne Benjaminson-in-Tajikstan-equivalents). There are 15 grants available, and the NSC generally recommends one and a half to two times the # of candidates to grants. So my odds are 50-75% (I think I did that math right, right? 22.5:15 vs 30:15). If I'm one of the first chosen, I'll know for sure by May 14, and if I'm an alternate or was just flat out rejected, I won't know until the end of June, the same moment when I'll be deciding to renew my lease and trying to figure out what else to do with my life.

I've applied for some teaching jobs at private schools in the area, but have yet to hear back. As it were, English lit teachers are a dime a dozen, and if only I were fluent in Spanish or physics or chemistry--these people would be courting me out the door.

I'm somewhat nonchalant about the whole Fulbright--as well as the larger questions, etc--process. And I can't quite figure out why. Well, not to toot my own horn, but if they reject someone who had 4 recs, 50% of which were from profesors who were previous Fulbright scholars, and one of those profs is in Korea and has promised to affiliate with me and oversee my studies, then... I will be PISSED! Because during the month I was working my ass off for the app, I wrote some pretty lousy stories for class.

Also, if I don't get the grant, then this means my fate was to...stay in Boston? My dad points out the economy in S Korea is horrible, and even though they are dying for me to reconnect with the Mo'land, I think he may have some reservations, too. A compromise might be to spend the summer in Korea--some rich alum of the BU MFA program just gave money to award 5 students with a travel grant to go anywhere and just sit in a cafe and write a novel. I'm afraid the fact that people know I'm applying for a Fulbright will deter them from considering my app, but it's still worth a shot.

The other day, while I was running my 22 laps on the indoor track (7 loops to a mile--dizzying), thinking about this essay/story I just wrote (8.5 pages in 3 days--woo hoo! My last 8.5p story took me 2 weeks, and I'm STILL working on it!) about the time my brother broke his arm when we were in Korea. And how my mother blames The Broken Arm for everything--the fact that my brother's only five foot eight-and-a-half (the BA stunted his growth, of course), the fact that he hasn't found a nice five foot one inch Korean wife to kowtow to him, etc etc. Then I started daydreaming about the possibility of getting it published, like in the New Yorker or something, and this distracted me from my running, as I noticed I was now slowed to like a nine minute, 45sec mile (I've been averaging 8 and a half min miles now). Then I read more depressing news about the Washington Post Book World being dissolved, and how some of my colleagues at RH are starting to get laid off, and I thought to myself, "What's the point?"

Anyway, I just wasted an hour in the library looking up Fulbright stats when I could have been attending a tutorial on intalling Linux instead.

Signing off--
P

P: Another Snow Storm's A-Comin'...

One of my colleagues asked to cancel class tomorrow because of the snowstorm, and everyone jumped on board. I forget that New England gets so much more snow than NY, that it's something people have to consider and center whole conversations around. I think I mentioned in an earlier blog post about how I was at this party and people were talking about winter stormwear. Well, here we are.

I don't have too much else to report--my workshop with a new prof, Daphne, went REALLY well--we all really like her, and think she's going to be way better than Allegra. My other classmates miss Leslie, but I'm glad to be working with someone who's more current. Not to say that she's a softie.

Well, I've been wasting way too much time being online rather than working on a story about the summer my brother broke his arm in a swimming pool in Korea, on top of writing for Xuefei, so I'm going to call it a night.

Night!
P

the northern-south: its friendly here!

here we are in atlanta! as i write i am sitting at my desk in the ritzie carlton, where i have already called to complain about 3 separate items: (1) my bedside phone wasnt working (2) my little mini fridge wasnt working (i swear i wasnt digging into the alcohol bar- i was pathetically trying to refridgerate my baby carrots) and (3) the mirror in the bathroom wasnt lighting up. i felt like a brat calling, i wont deny it. but the room is about 200 bucks a night, and the govt is paying. so. i complained on behalf of the people. *disclaimer: the hotel also apparently doesnt think the cw is a classy enough channel, so ive missed gossip girls. is that some kind of judgment they are issuing on me? because i dont appreciate it. sure, they have 12 different types of cnn, because the cnn headquarters is like 3 blocks away, but oh heaven forbid we have television for the teenage-girls within us all.

i got here about 1pm and headed straight to the office. traveling for business in theory sounds glamorous- you get to see the world! walk around new cities! try new restaurants! get a glimpse of a new world! new possibilities! and then... you remember. youre there to work. you dont have your normal creature comforts - theres no lactose free milk, theres no running outside, theres no yogurt for breakfast, youre wearing a suit, and your stomach is grumbling at inopportune moments because when youre usually eating at your desk at 10am, whereas here, youve got to be taking notes, being quiet, and looking nice. of course, im just predicting these things, but i just have a feeling...

met up with blake & his wife jaclyn, nick my coworker, and one of blake's coworkers, lydia, after working this afternoon & dropping off a memo for review with the boss- kind of funny to think we will all be sleeping in the same institutionalized building for the night. anyway. went out for drinks & nachos at a sportsbar nearby, which was kind of amazing. ive never had this experience before: each table had its own set of taps, 2 each, and they turn it on, and charge you by the ounce. we had stella & sam adams, pretty classic, and caught up. so besides the two taps, where you just get to keep pouring your brew sans interruption, we were in this big booth- and what comes down from the ceiling in front of us? a flat screen, hd tv. i mean.... i dont even like watching sports on tv, and yet i was entranced. could i stay and watch gossip girl? because that would have been an amazing, drunken end to the night. what was even better? this place didnt feel at all like a sports bar per se- it was dimly lit, everyone had their own area so no one was yelling and being annoying-- it was almost... dare i say it?... classy. and i would happily go there to participate in sports watching. it was such a novel concept.

got back to the hotel, and in my bitterness of not being able to watch gossip girl (i know, im obsessed), i decided to head down to the gym and go for a run. my legs felt like dead weight the entire time, thanks to the race yesterday no doubt- and nachos & beer were sloshing around in a mildly uncomfortable way. im not sure why that seemed like a good idea, exactly, but at least it tuckered me out enough. and that is never bad.

xo

recap

hooray! its over! the half marathon was actually a lot of fun- i think i trained enough that the distance wasnt too bad. for most of it, i ran with a 4.00 hr pace group- two guys decked out in blue racing gear, holding up a small sign that said "4.00 pace" on a long stick (poor guys, they had to run with it all through the marathon).  anyway i barely made it to them before the race started- there was obviously a super long line at the portopotties- where someone had totally pooped before i went in there. really?!? you couldnt have done that at home? i mean, ok, fine, whatever. gross, sorry. so i met up with the pacing group, and it was pretty smooth sailing, except for in the beginning when very very slow people and old men somehow get in front of you... whats that all about? in the spirit of patty's amazing marathon-post, i thought i would try & give the play by play as best i remember it:

mile 1: and we're off, about 6 minutes behind the start time; first thing? going over the macarthur causeway, which is like a big long pseudo bridge that connects miami to miami beach. the running group is going at what feels like a very slow pace. its a random assortment- mostly middle aged people. theres a pair of women who i can only refer to as middle-aged-blonde-fit, super type-a and aggressive ladies who are shit talking and yelling when anyone is in their way, barking their discontent. they are bitches, to say the least.  moment of victory? one of them trips and falls flat on her face. maybe you should stop barking and start running.

mile 2:  although i drive over this causeway all the time and think about how cruelly long it is, i am barely noticing its length now. feeling like a breeze. the pacers are giving us helpful tips along the way- lean forward when you're running uphill (several hills on the causeway); keep your shoulders down, arms loose, small steps- smaller steps conserve energy.

mile 3: first water break. on the beach, many turns, taking them wide per instructions. lots of weaving back and forth to stay with the pacers. crowd starting to thin a little bit.

mile 4: more water. less crowded running- although little to no cheerer's-on. sad. poor form in comparison to ny and i imagine, boston

mile 5.5: we get a tip from the pacers: "eat your goo." especially if you didnt eat it at the last water break. im not the kind of girl who eats energy-goo, to be honest, but i had packed some energy "beans" in my back pocket. 

mile 6: eat first energy bean. chocolate/coffee tasting, chaulky, gross, but its got a ton of caffeine in it. they say its better to take it before you start to fade out. we pass the 10k mark, and are under an hour (just by a minute or so). slower than my 1ok back in december, but i also couldnt breathe once that was over. still got 7 more miles to go

mile 6.5: we're passing some clubs on washington ave. there are 5 guys on the sidewalk, all in black, who totally just got off of work as busboys or waiters. they serenade us in spanish. makes me smile.

mile 7: the "publix" supermarket mile- there is a consistent crowd, one person deep, for about half a mile. better than nothing, sadly.  theres a marching band though, which i am totally pumped by. and some high school cheerleaders. awww.

mile 8: we're heading over the second causeway; this one is going fine so far. i get ahead of my pacers for room, but shortly thereafter, i loose them. 

mile 9: second energy "bean." just as disgusting as before, but im hoping it gets me through to the last 4 miles. theres more of a crowd spattered around the venetian causeway, blowing horns, and one guy sereneding us in spanish again. kinda love it.

mile 10.5: heading off the causeway; much bigger crowd. still not a lot of people, but its crowded on both sides; people have signs, are yelling, making noise; i am smiling like a mad woman. people are starting to pitter off, slowing down. the crowd is energizing. live band playing spanish music. 

mile 11: water; a pick up truck is stopped, with michael jackson karaoke going on. ok, im starting to appreciate the miami-love

mile 12: band playing 'blink 182'. kind of love this as well.

mile 12.85: we've got a quarter mile left; going under an overpass, which smells like gas, in downtown miami, and its gross. turning the corner to head to the finish line, a man with a running-baby carriage is next to me. he apparently gets it in his head that he will lift up the front wheel of the carriage, to help him go faster. instead, he looses control, RAMS it into my thigh, the carriage almost flips over. the toddler inside is fine. i give him a "WOH WATCH OUT!" and hope that this little fiasco hasnt slowed me down too much. the mind of a psycho runner?

mile 13: im almost there, i can see it, and im bolting. best estimation of speed? i dont know, it was fast, and my feet felt like they were shattering into thousands of tiny pieces with every slap of concrete. about 200 meters from the finish line, i get a horrible feeling like im going to vomit on everyone in front of me. 

and: done! just shy of two hours. im not sure how i managed to keep the 9 mile pace but yet leave my pace group behind. oddly suspicious of the ing timing, but happy nonetheless. push past the fucking slow walkers who like to just totally halt movement once passing raceline. what are they thinking? shuffle to take picture. drink water. stretch pathetically. feel like left arch is collapsing under the sheer weight of my body. i get my bagel, get my checked bag, and change into flipflops. my new shoes did spanking well. my knees are stiff but not hurting cognizably, but my right hip is tight (to be expected). i still feel waves of nausea passing over me every 30 seconds. its still very possible i might vomit. this feeling will last for several hours more. it causes me to skip both of my brunch dates, which im totally ok with.  i continue to feel in awe that people (including patty!) have run and will continue to run the actual marathon.  do they vomit along the way?  after a long nap, i feel much better. sit in front of television for hours watching 'degrassi junior high' the next generation, love it. then sit on beach with nytimes. get mild sunburn. convince myself i will run the next half marathon in march. any other takers?

in a nutshell. i hope the above was just as entertaining and magical as miss park's was, back in november. minus drinking coke while running, which honestly, i still dont get.

just finished packing for atlanta, including my new winter coat. that i had to buy today. because i am not prepared for 35 degree weather.  i think its time to crawl back into my bathrobe and watch some mindless tv.

xooxxo

P: Persian dinner parties, random karaoke bars, etc

I got home a little bit ago, after way too much green lamb stew (ghorme sabzi), yogurt-cucumber-dill sauce with raisins and pomegranate seeds, eggplant-honey-tapenade, raspberry vinaigrette spinach salad, and cognac-infused chocolate mousse with a small shot of Hennessy to enjoy it with. And lots of wine. It was a Persian dinner party hosted by my friend Darius, the half-Iranian, half-white cousin of my author Firoozeh Dumas, who set us up on a playdate a while back. Incidentally, he (and his brother Ryan, who I guess was our year? whom I've never met, though) went to the same Viennese high school Jessi went to junior year (shoutout, Jessi) !! Anyway, there were about 20 people there, and everyone was really friendly (surprise, surprise). Even more surprising was that not many people there knew each other. I find that at most dinner parties, there's one dominant group, and a couple of stragglers, which leads to awkward mingling. But here, everyone had a different story as to how they knew the host (volleyball, work, tangentially related to work, friends of an ex-girlfriend, former roommate, etc), though I was told I had the best story. Anyway, again it was just one of those nights where I wonder if it's just a Boston thing, or just this particular group, but everyone really gelled together and had a great time. It was also like a meeting of the UN or a United Colors of Bennetton ad: there was an Israeli, a Ugandan who lived in Switzerland, another Asian (Korean? didn't get to talk to her), an Indian woman and her Australian boyfriend, a couple of white people of varying Irish, Jewish, WASP compositions, a bunch of multiethnic looking mixes...one was a pregnant woman who kind of looked like Obama's (half) sister, so she must have been half-Indonesian, half-Kansan.

However, I left this party "early"--it started at 7, I left at 11--because there were a couple of couples, and although there were some single people, I kind of felt like, I didn't want to be the last one left. Especially as I have the weakest ties to the party altogether, and I didn't want to wear out my welcome. Also, some kids from my running club were going to shoot pool at Boston Beer Works, which from my understanding is a huge bar/billiards kind of place, which I'm frankly a little scared to try. So as I was texting with one running club person, I also texted my friend Andy to see if he was heading there, too. I don't know how Boston people roll--as far as I know, people stop partying at 10:48pm, and I didn't want to show up (esp as it was in North Station) and have no one there. So I hadn't heard back from Chris, but Andy said he was doing karaoke in Chinatown, at this (I was soon to learn) ridiculous place called Limelight. With a TEN DOLLAR COVER (grumble grumble). Also, if the T stopped running and I had to cab it, then I would be much closer to my apt from Chinatown than from deserted north station. Anyway, I did hear back from Chris, who actually WAS still at Beer Works, but I was kind of afraid this annoying, troll-like guy (not kid--I think he's like 30+) Devon was going to be there. I just met Devon at ten cent wing night on Monday at the Asgard Pub, and he was a really, super socially awkward type. Painfully so. Like, some of us were having a conversation about cooking tofu, and he was like, "Edamame is good." like, completely non-sequitur. Like, I got the soy connection, but it was like, um, way to hijack the conversation with your Asperger-like behavior. Then you get cornered into having a conversation with him, and it's really awkward, and he's there with chicken wing glaze all over his face, and you're trying not to cringe while looking at him.

ANYWAY!

I got to the Limelight, and it was kind of cheese-central. First off, the cover, even though I stayed for all of 30min. And it was just one big stage, and there were annoying girls in tube tops--like the kinds that just push past you without saying sorry. Which happens all the time in NY, but as I've mentioned in previous posts, people here seem to be more conscientious about that kind of thing. Anyway, the only people I knew were Andy and this blonde girl I met only once before, and it was kind of awkward, because I later learned it was a birthday party, and all of these girls were wearing shiny dresses with ridiculous heels, etc etc. Then I thought to myself: damn I should have just gone to Beer Works instead. Or I should have stayed at Darius' party. Then I thought: chill, Patty. Why do you keep trying to maximize every goddamn moment? So what. The karaoke place was lame (the wait time for a song was 1.25hrs), but at least I was trying it out. And yeah, it was awkward as I sat in this crowded lounge with no one to talk to at moments. And people were crooning songs on the stage that were real downers. And then someone busted out with the Leanne Reimes. But now I have a delightful stamp on my left hand by which to remember it by.

Well, maybe I'll be inspired to run another 5 miles tomorrow morning (ha!)--today was quite a workout, especially the bits of running IN the snow...which gets old after about a block.

and our winter is over!

this morning i got up way too early, and headed out to the grocery store- no milk for my coffee! i was expecting it to be chillers out, but lo and behold, i think our winter has ended. the sun is shining, the sky is blue, and i wished instantly i was not in leggings and a light sweater. (yes, sick, i know. thats winter for us). 

thursday night was jazz~ !! ashley & anton (her husband) and i met for dinner in downtown miami, which is usually a total ghost town. there is literally nothing that stays open there past 4pm. i cant quite find a similar analogy in new york... wall street? but even there, people live there. here, its just like, business ends, and you realize that the area is desolate, and potentially dangerous, full of sketchy-unknowns. anyway, they happened to know of a little italian place, so we split a bottle of wine, a thin crust pizza, antipasto, and a pasta. surprisingly delicious, i have to admit. as we were heading out to go to our cars to drive over to the performing arts center, ashley began to waiver: you know the drill, do i have to go? do you mind if i go home? is that okay with you guys? i just dont feel good? i just dont like jazz? at first, i was like- she has to be kidding. you're leaving me here with your husband who ive met on two occassions, but never spoke to for more than like,  5 minutes at a time? then again- you know when you really want to go do something, and you've got a little hanger-back, someone you can tell is just not that into it, and you increasingly find yourself annoyed at them- as if that was their plan all along? anton and i both bade her faretheewell and headed to the show together. and--- it was really, really fun. we were bopping in our seats; the older couple next to us was totally eavesdropping before the show started, and you could just tell they were getting a kick out of us; that same older woman kept snapping her fingers to the jazz- it was such a moment.  

wynton & the lincoln center jazz orchestra-- about 12 guys in all -- were totally jamming out- the first half was very much glenn-miller-type, orchestrated, like swing or big band jazz. during intermission, we ran down the stairs from our post way up above to the lobby- where one of the concession stand areas was candy. i dont mean like, fancy candy. i mean, like, when you go into a candy store and they have a row of candy, with little shovels in them, the kind you snack on in the supermarket. anton bought us both the requisite plastic cups and we filled up on red licorice bites, reeces peeces, gummy bears, sour patch kids. what a brilliant idea! did they just assume everyone going to see jazz would be so young at heart?  the second half of the show was even better- it was much more improvisational, and we continued to bop along in our seats. i drove anton home, and said goodnight, and was genuinely glad that we had been able to hang out. 

as expected, the last day in the office before we leave town- it was hectic to say the least. i was working like a maniac trying to finish up a last minute memo, with the distinct knowledge that it was never going to be read, or at least, that i would have to repeat a similar situation all over again monday in atlanta...  the good news, though, is that i am flying in earlier than my coworker nick & the boss- which means that i wont have to endure a mostly-awkward plane ride involving discussion about whatever. instead, i can read in peace, arrive in the cold north (ha) and then work again like a maniac until tuesday morning. we have a bunch of dinners planned while we are there, and i get to hang with blake again, which im looking forward to. 

after the crazy day yesterday, we headed out to a happy hour- the girls from my office, as well as ashley & anna & justin from down the hall, and some assorted husbands, and we went to montys. (incidentally patty, there are *two* montys- one of which is in coral gables, the other in south beach- which is the one i go to- it overlooks the water & boats, although i think the montys in coral gables is an experience i will have to take advantage of soon!) . i was oddly proud that i had arranged this happy hour, actually, as we were all smooshed around a table outside, drinking pitchers of beer, eating assorted fish tacos, nachos & wings, and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. what a good idea, (pat on back). then most of us headed over to see a comedy show- darryl philbin from the office, also known as (in real life), craig robinson. now, while i enjoy the office, i do not watch it enough to know all the funny quips or things he does, but let me tell you. he was hilarious. it was him & his band, called something like "the funk nasty", which involved him on a keyboard, and assorted other musicians playing an electric-guitar-keyboard-thing, drums, guitar, sax, trumpet... assortedly random and amazing. i cant really explain what he does, or why he is funny- but he would sing these songs and then just interject humor into them, saying things that were random or inappropriate, and i barely stopped laughing to catch my breath. the only thing i can liken it to, is, if you were hanging out with your most funny friend in college, in their house, and they were just on a total roll and you couldnt take how funny they were, and it was just kind of amazing that he exists, and that it went on for two hours of him just being ridiculous, absurd, singing, random, throw in any other adjective you can think of. it wasnt stand-up, thank god, it was a whole new level. fin. 

the morning after, im in the midst of doing laundry, but ive got to head out shortly to grab my bib & racing chip for the run tomorrow. i am feeling like such lazy bones but i figure its justified. i have reached that adult point in time where i wake up by 9am no matter what i do. its kind of sick, and definitely annoying, no matter how late i stay up the night before, or the fact that i have not slept late in like 7 days. no use crying over split milk and all that. i figure it will prime me to wake up at like, 4am tomorrow. gross, gross gross. thankfully i know some other kids who are running the race as well, although the probability that i will find and/or see them in a crowd of 15,000 after not much sleep is relatively low. either way, ive got a few post-race-brunch invites to choose from, assuming i can stand up after 9am, which is an entirely different story. they've opened a "russian & turkish bath house" down here in one of the hotels not far from me, over on like 55th street and collins- run by the same people as the one in the east village, so im thinking i should just buy a day pass and slink into a bath & sauna infused day tomorrow. sounds delicious.

xo

Professor Park!

I had my first day of teaching yesterday-- WHOOP WHOOP!! I felt like a rockstar. I got to the classroom more than an hour early, and photocopied like mad for a good 25 minutes, had my syllabus ready, had sign-up sheets, copies of David Sedaris' essay "Cyclops" from Naked, had outlines of a deconstructed reading on "Cyclops," distributed packets of poems by some of my favorite poets: Billy Collins, of course, Sandra Cisneros, Marilyn Hacker (who went to Bronx Science and was married to fellow Science-ite--the Afro-Am writer of Times Sq Red, Times Sq Blue Samuel Delaney, before they decided to have an open bisexual marriage and then they divorced and each started dating people of the same sex), Frances Chung (RIP), Vikram Seth, William Carlos Williams (the only physician/poet I ever met)... I felt so adult. Like, it could just be my ego talking, but I'd like to think these kids were looking up to me. I didn't feel young, at all, which was a big worry. They were all so sweet, and some of them read Tim O'Brien and Sedaris as well and ee cummings and Bill Bryson and... sigh. It felt really nice. At breaktime, I brought them some sweet and savory treats, then I made them sign up a sheet so they could rotate who brings in seminar break snacks (something we used to do at Swarthmore).

Oh, Annie, you would appreciate this-- one of my students is from Miami, so I said, my friend just moved there! She keeps talking about this place called Monty's. And the student was like, I LOVE Monty's! They have a great happy hour, they're on/in the Grove, and something about it being on a boat? Then she told me that if I visit you for spring break, I should fly into Ft Lauderdale instead to avoid the nonsense that is Miami International Airport.

And then another set of students were from Queens (Bayside) and Long Island (Garden City), and we talked about Roosevelt Field, and I asked them where was the best place to find parking in the mall (incidentally, it's by Nordstrom's).

I swear work was actually getting done during the 3 hour class.

Before I started teaching, my friend Alexis suggested I head to the BU bookstore to order books for the class. "Do it just for the ego boost," he said, as we were huffing along the indoor track in the gym. "You don't even need to order anything--just show up and then they sit you down and call you Professor. I totally made my day."

Indeed, it was. I didn't get all the way to the bookstore (which is in Kenmore Square, an 8min walk from my apt but it feels much longer when you're carting around a laptop, sneakers, and dirty gym clothes on your back all day). Instead, I called in to order a copy of Ron Carlson Writes a Story (a deconstructed look at a story in the making), and--true to Alexis' word--they called me Professor Park, and I felt so...professorial. Even when I wasn't wearing my blazer with suede elbow patches. I think EVERYONE should fake-order books from the university bookstore, just so that they can have the benefit of hearing their name being called out, with the "professor" prefix beforehand. I felt really good about myself.

Well, I am off to watch Mon night's episode of "How I met Your Mother" on CBS before I pass out and head to a Microsoft Excelt tutorial workshop tomorrow morning. For TWO HOURS. After that, I'm going to learn about Linux/Unix for 3 more 2-hr sessions. This is before my hip hop-LA style and rock climbing classes start next week. Go me!

strugglin on through

i cant believe the week is already half over and ive barely contributed this week. have i at all? who knows. exciting times though-- the inaugeration of our new president was yesterday, which meant that most people are generally full of excitement and hope (except apparently for those few who still think obama will somehow indoctrinate the entire country with muslimism.. um... really? yes, sadly they do exist). i mean, npr even interviewed the republicans in small towns in florida who are still hopeful that our new presidente can pull us out of this horrible economy, international situation, etc etc.... i was very pleased to hear this morning that all trials related to guantanamo bay are currently on hold- i cant believe that for so long, we have just outright, absolutely violated human rights, violated our constitution- and tried to keep it all a secret. its really disgusting. of course, i dont know what the alternative that obama has planned is-- some other alternative form of trial? -- but as one of the generals involved in the military tribunal remarked, at least the discussion will bring better refinements to the process. anyway, thankfully we were able to watch the inaugeration on our computers via some weird-internal-cnn-streaming, which was much appreciated. then we talked about how chief justice roberts totally flaked on giving the vow. it was painful to watch because initially, it seemed like the problem was obamas- like he had flubbed it somehow. then, you realized, (a) roberts gave sentences that were too long and (b) he gave the wrong wording for the vows... and obama didnt know whether to correct him or not. talk about an awkward sitch.  i do not doubt that those moments became water-cooler-discussion-fodder everywhere.

work is still trucking along rather busy, next monday i head to atlanta for the week. im excited since last time i was only there for a few days-- but traveling for work is always exhausting. its like, you cant go home at the end of the day and unwind. you actually just go to dinner with the same work people, and then go sleep in the same hotel as them. and then do it all over again the next morning. oh of course its still exciting, and i love new bathrobes, and getting coffee room service, and nice dinners. but i also like cuddling in my own bed and generally de-lousing from the day by 7pm. ah well. youll get all my updates along the way.

today i was invited to join a softball league on sunday afternoons. what are you takes on this? on the one hand, it seems utterly ridiculous-- have you seen my arms? i havent played since summer camp, circa 1995. on the other hand, i dont think its serious, and im basically just there to represent the gender on this bizarre league team, which happens on sundays, when no one does anything anyway, and it will encourage some team-drinking. so. i dont know. maybe ill go and check it out sunday if i can still walk after the race.

what else has been going on? sunday i met up with my friend ashley, and a bunch of her random friends. we grabbed drinks on a super-touristy block in south beach, which i just dont get. why go to little italy when youre a local? you know what i mean. (ok, so we used to go to little italy to drink, but we were also in high school and could get away with it. cha chas, you were the best). after the tourist trap area, we headed to what was referred to as a "dive bar." but in actuality, those dont exist here. it was a sports bar.  but hey, they had a little area upstairs with dart boards and we went to town in teams of three and rocked out for a while. despite being cranky that ashley had been on miami-time in terms of getting in touch to make plans, i actually had a good time. 

then on monday, after reclaiming MLK day, taking my car back to the mechanics for more issue-dealing, and taking a short run, i went to dinner with a bunch of other co-worker ladies. there were actually two married-couples there, which i guess is normally fine- but they were the type who kept touching each other, engaging in back-stroking, arm-cuddling, wedding-ring-fiddling, the works. please. we get it. youre infatuated with one another. but just dont do it at the dinner table. we understand you are married, but youre also making it a little awkward. especially with your co-workers.  regardless, the dinner was good. its miami spice month, like restaurant week in new york, so there are tons of prix-fixe dinners and lunches around. the place we went to was in coral gables, and was called 'orantique' or something like that- some kind of carribean/latin american fusion place. i tried my first ceviche, which honestly just seemed like chopped cooked shrimp to me. kind of over that. but my little hen was delicious. i love little bitty drumsticks. they kill me. 

tomorrow night is jazz, im going to see wynton marsalis with ashley & her husband, which im psyched about (no really, i like him- he is culturally the epidomy of the cold war: his father is cuban, and his mother is russian. how amazing?!), and then friday im leading the charge on a happy hour at montys. hey, at least you know ill be there, drinking cheap draft beers in plastic cups and eating huge honkin shrimp, oysters, and stone crab claws. i know ive said it before, but ill say it again-- montys is my favorite thing about this little odd city. 

until then, im going to retire from typing and read a bit. hope all is well with all of you.

xoxo

P: Salsa Dancing at MIT-- an oxymoron?

Hey Annie,
I'm really glad to hear you're starting to echo some of the same concerns that I had, and it's uncanny that we both started to feel like, well, why couldn't we live in our respective cities for longer than a year? You make a good point--I've got to keep my eyes on the prize, if by "prize" I mean forcing myself into an awkward and new situation where my grammar and vocab needs work and I'm like a foot taller than my fellow kinswomen....

Last night I ended up at MIT's student center for a salsa dancing lesson. I swear, it felt like a high school dance--awkward! There were boys of various small-shoulder, slender, pale compositions that were lined up on one side, staring shyly at their shoes. Some of these kids just looked plain WEIRD, like they belonged to the Swarthmore Warders of Imaginary Literature (coke-bottle glasses, long frizzy hair, capes and wands optional). Some of the girls looked tarted up in little salsa-esque dresses, though most wore jeans and Converses. There was this one girl who looked like she could be a close cousin of Carrie's. As in, Stephen King's Carrie, not Carrie Bradshaw. She looked about 12 years old (although I'm sure she was closer in age to me), she had long mousy brown hair that fell flat on either side of her face, and she wore a prim red velvet dress, white stockings, white socks, and black patent shoes. And not even in a hipster-Victorian kind of way. Who WAS this freak? How did I end up in a room full of 400 sweaty people shuffling arhythmically from one side to the other?

It was actually pretty hilarious, and to feel appreciate the moment, I really wish one of you guys were there. Don't get me wrong--there were actually some people who were really into it, and who were doing amazing twists and turns on the dance floor. I was there with a handful of people from my running club, and we were all at varying levels of gracelessness. I guess 5.5 min mile runners do not necessarily translate into skillful dancers.

It reminded me of the time I ended up in a barn in Greenfield, MA for a Saturday night contra dance (a mix between a square dance and a Jane Austen-esque country dance), and I thought I stumbled into a Star Trek convention. The concentrated smell of body odor hit you the moment you opened the door (and mind you, this was a cold winter night), and I was a little scared--I was the only non-white person in the room. THen some 45yo guy (who may have been a silver fox in his own right, if I were into men 20years my senior) asking me for my hand in a dance, greeted me with "Konichiwa!" My Swarthmore friends were doubled over in laughter.

Anyway, I managed to have more than a fair share of fun with salsa at MIT. It kind of made me lament that people in NY--at least not the hipster set--believe in organized dancing. Afterwards my running club mates were heading to a bar in Central Sq, but it was already 11:30 and I didn't want to have to take a cab home from Cambridge after the T stopped running at 12:30. Also, my shirt was soaked through with sweat and even though I went to the bathroom, patted myself dry with toilet paper, took off my shirt and fanned it in the air, it was still wet, and I felt like a dork. ALSO, I was so exhausted from a late night the night before, the morning run (where I told myself not to let the beers come back up the other way), followed by an unproductive day at the library. So I parted with them, waited for the #1 bus that took me to Newbury St and Mass Ave, then jumped on the Green line C line from Hynes Convention Center home.

I decided to do drop=off laundry service for the first time (there are no machines in my building, which means I have to trek all of my stuff across a slushy parking lot to the laundromat. They're charging me TWENTY SEVEN DOLLARS and fifty cents! Highway robbery! That being said, I did somehow generate 22lbs of laundry in the past 2 weeks, but that's besides the point. How much do they charge in NY? I guess I thought it was like 60 cents a pound. Here it's 1.25. Sheesh.

wavelength? same

i think the concept of staying in boston of course has its merits: first, you dont know whats going to happen with the fulbright, and as much faith as we all have in you-- its competitive, to say the least. so a back-up plan is good to have either way. putting some random two cents in here? i think you should seize the day while you can: korea or bust. you can always come back to boston, although of course it will be harder- but its also hard to just stick around for another year. so i guess youve just got some ruminating to do. 

its really funny that you should write that post, actually. when i was walking back to my apartment from the market earlier, i had a similar feeling: wouldnt it be nice to stay here, where its 70 degrees year round, and i can run outside, and sit on the beach, and feel genuinely happy to just see and hang around in sunshine, driving around with the windows open when everyone abstractly complains about 7 degree weather? my next thought, oddly, was: i bet it is SO random for anyone who comes down here to visit me, to look around, see miami, the pink sidewalks, the suburbaness, the driving everywhere, the trashy euros-- and think, "you want to stay here?" or even-- "you live here?". after about 2.3 minutes of thinking how nice it could potentially be to stay here, i reminded myself that this is not my life, but a little sojourn for a wonderful job and a taste of something else.  nonetheless, i know what you mean. its exciting, especially when you feel like you finally get it, fit in, have friends, have a routine. 

i, on the other hand, am sort of out of routines at the moment, but feeling like a lazy lazy bum. i mistakenly ran 10 miles in a new pair of sneakers today, which means both of my second-toe toe-nails are throbbing and threatening to fall off. im not kidding. even wearing slippers is painful. well, its par for the course (falling-off-nails i mean), and in a few days im sure they will brightly shining black-and-blue, and will hopefully cooperate with me and tolerate the race.

OH- and heres a little preview for you guys - complete with spanish-themed-music. holler!

xo

P: Boston, Permanently?

So I don't hear back from the Fulbright people until January 31--that is, that's when they tell me whether I've made it to Round 1 or not. Between mid-March and late June is when they let people know for sure, but my friend Adam tells me when he applied (and ultimately got rejected), people weren't alerted until July/August. There was one girl who was initially rejected, and she got a call sometime over the summer to say, "Yeah, we know we rejected you, but...psych! You want the Fulbright or what?"

All this has been making me think I need to have a contingency plan, and not just one where I buy a $2,000 open plane ticket to Seoul and figure it out when I get there. My roommate fwd'd me an English lit teaching position at a private school in Chestnut Hill (I ran by the beautiful reservoir there once), and I'm thinking about applying. In fact, I'm thinking more and more about whether I'd like to stay in Boston indefinitely (or at least, for another year). I'm making friends, I have a great apt in a central location and a great roommate, I've got a routine, and I'm actually succeeding in WRITING. I don't know whether my little honeymoon with the city is exactly that--something that will soon burst/pop in a matter of months. Perhaps the novelty will wear off, especially if I have to take the T or drive in this city of Massholes (as they're affectionately called, for their lack of driving etiquette or skills). Just because the people in my running group are nice, and people in the bars are nice, and people on the T are nice, doesn't mean it's where I should end up living.

But what would I do? I could stay in grad school--my program is affiliated with the grad teaching program, and I would get a half-scholarship for that, and I would be guaranteed a private school teaching job on graduating (if I did this second program, that would be in summer 2010). But that kind of seems like a waste. I could just bum around, live off my savings, maybe bartend or bag groceries, and write, with the hope that the advance I would hopefully get from hopefully selling the novel would off-set my living expenses. I could become a freelance publicist, but that's really scary to me because I've lost touch with so many of my media contacts, and the thought of dealing with authors and money directly sends creepy shivers down my spine. Also, it'd be more work having to be my own cheerleader and self-salesman, going about and peddling my goods.

I need to keep writing. At least, that's the plan until I hit 30. So truth be told, I'm faced with this crossroads, and I'm a little at a loss as to what to do.

I'm coming from a biased place--one day I'm lonely, the next I have a fun, random, unplanned night out. Take, for instance, last night. My friend Adam (he's a poet in the program) and I were just going to grab a chill drink, as I had to run the next morning with my running club and my roommate's friend Amy, who (I think) I've successfully convinced to start running with the group. So Adam and I went to Beacon St Tavern down my block, sat at this long communal table, and ended up talking to 3 separate factions of groups.


We met these girls who work for google, and then I met this grad student of medieval history who lived in Rome for 6yrs and we randomly started busting out in Italian, for like a good half-hour (a language I hadn't spoken in 7 years, God help me), and then one moment Adam was complimenting the sweater of a guy at our table, and the next minute he's making out with him, and the computer engineer to my left was trying to talk to the google girls, who were initially trying to hit on Adam, and one of the google girls (a sweet girl from Indiana who was kind of wasted) kept telling medieval studies guy that she wanted to set him up with her friend who lives in NH and has a 4yo daughter...to which he physically balked. Anyway, this was the first time I think I've done this ever, but certainly in Boston--we closed the bar down. At 2am they turned the lights on, and everyone had to finish their beers and leave.

After making myself a hummus, alfalfa, red cabbage and zucchini wrap, I watched Gossip Girl on cwtv.com before passing out, only to wake up, then fall back asleep in fits and spurts until Amy picked me up at 10:15 this morning. The stairs to the bridges and even the path along the Charles on the Cambridge side were pretty icy, so it made for an interesting 5 mile run. Then breakfast at Dave's apt (again, 30? 40? ppl crammed into a tight space), and one of the kids in my group mentioned something about salsa dancing tonight? so that might be on the agenda.

All I mean to say by this is that surely the novelty of having fun in Boston WILL wear off? So I shouldn't compromise my life plans (going to Korea so I can come to terms with the motherland and then knock that off my list) for a little hedonism with 20 somethings in a college town.

And what happened to eventually buying a condo in downtown Brooklyn???

Well, I'm in the law library now, so I should probably actually try to get some work done for once. Back to reworking my novel(la) outline for Xuefei...!

t.g.i.f. seriously. seriously.

that crazy bout of energy and optimism has slowly slid away and now i am just one tuckered out little monkey.  i am so so so looking forward to sleeping late tomorrow, i cannot even tell you. its friday night, cool and rainy outside, am i could not be happier to be snuggled in my bathrobe, full of sushi and a glass of bubbly, and eagerly anticipating a bath. sigh. can you feel it?

today was a little hectic-- i woke up with a horrible headache that didnt disspate at all, not once, but i kept shoveling the excedrine and ibuproen and whatnot, but still it lingered. my neck was killing me from trying to run on the treadmill last night while reading a trashy magazine-- which usually is my speciality, only that i had just gotten home after having a glass of wine with some coworkers, so i think my body was mostly uncoordinated and out-of-wack. nonetheless, i was happy to have gone-- there were a few people visiting from both ny and montgomery alabama. the guy from alabama was actually totally hilarious. the drawl, first, is amazing. i mean, could you imagine if you talked like that? it forces you to slow down- so his delivery was out of control. we were talking about montgomery and he mentioned something about thai food there-- i was like *hold up, stop the press* thai food in alabama? i mean, i still havent gotten thai food here, mostly because i rarely see any ethnic-group other than cubans. i was actually kind of jealous. they have 4 thai places in like a 10 block radius!!! color me desperate for pad thai. we were all at sushi samba, which ive never been into but kind of hate just because, although i found it to be pretty low-key inside. its like, a place to go eat dinner when you want to feel like youre going out to a club. no joke. huge vaulted ceilings, banquette-like seating, abstract clubby music. i must say i was pleasantly surprised that some of the people at the table ordered some kind of quinoa dish (holler patty!) that involved fat slices of delicious mushrooms and a nice cheesey sauce. (i just had to have a taste. how random that a sushi place has such a grain). 

afterwards, i managed to stumble outside after an hour or so and traipse right into kiehls, thankfully, desperately in need of new face lotions. i swear. its been on my "to-do" list for weeks, so it couldnt have been better timing. well, ok, it could have been when i *hadnt* had a glass of wine, in which case i likely wouldnt have been so merry and eager to buy more products than i technically needed, but hey, whos counting here.

as for the long-weekend you just mentioned p? first, i wasnt even sure if we were *having* one. now, i know that most people probably dont have MLK day off, but we work for the man here. and dont have any other vacation days. it was really up in the air- there were mentions of "see you on monday"-- but after the proverbial man left the office, we conferred as a unit: come in monday? or not? collectively we decided a strong 'no', although ill see how paranoid i get over the weekend about the things to do before atlanta. ah well. i dont have much planned as of now although i am very much looking forward to relaxing. and running. about one week to go!

just finished watching the second-half of S&TC movie-- i tell you, it makes me appreciate my girls alllllll over again. if you couldnt feel the love radiating from over here down south, well, there is it. 

and on that note, the bath is calling me to have a languid soak and read a historical novel. paint me a prettier picture if you can. 

xoxoxo

P: TGI...Friday?

Hey Annie,
I especially enjoyed your last post, as it was so overwhelmingly positive! Way to rally and head over to trivia night and all those other things. I totally hear you about sometimes just wanting to plop on the couch after work and watch Hulu.tv all night, but in keeping with your New Year's resolution, brava! And girl, if I had a penny for everytime I fell while running (on the indoor track, no less), I'd have 4 cents.

Wednesday was the first day of class and I finally met THE Ha Jin! He had a soft, Chinese accent, and these pearls of wisdom would dribble from his lips. We were ALL in awe. And unlike that tyrannical Leslie, Xuefei (as we're invited to call him, as Ha Jin is his pen name) said, just get the pages down on paper. Don't go back and labor over lines--you don't have time for this. He was pretty amazing--he would look over our novella ideas (we each turned in 3) and he's like: okay, this is a full-blown novel, it would be 30 scenes, 400 pages and it will take you at least a few years to write. Then he'd read over someone else's, and he's like, this is more of a short story--I can see it being 25 pages with 5 major scenes, but you need to have these 2 storylines come together at the end. "The old man should have a daughter. She is very bee-oo-tee-pful, and then there's a will..."

He was like some kind of literary forecaster, a construction savant! Of course, this means I need to first outline my novel/la (a reinterpretation of Jane Eyre, which he suggests should take place IN a supermarket, to combine my 2 disparate novella ideas), and then I need to churn in a minimum of 50 pages in a few weeks. While writing a 15p short story for another class, while teaching. WHEW! I'm exhausted before I even begin.

As for the long wknd, I have no idea what my plans will be. I canceled a drink date I had in Cambridge on Sunday because I was just feeling too overwhelmed. So unlike you, Annie, I've taken the opposite attitude where I'm pulling back from making new friends, etc. All I know for sure is that I'm doing a 6 mile run tomorrow morning along the Charles, in -2 degrees (real feel) temp. I guess I'll let the rest fall into place.

cheers, P

back to the same old

in the wake of a very crazy start to the week, the rest of it has, surprisingly, gone pretty smoothly. some abbreviated highlights:

(1) the boss agreed with me on things that i wrote, which rarely happens. ok, to rephrase-- not that he disagrees with me, more like he voices very strongly his issues with what ive said or how ive said it. but these past two memos have gone down smooth like sugar. i am pleasantly surprised with myself. 

(2) i got a ton of sleep monday night after a harrowing day, and have felt rested and chipper the past two days, which is also probably attributed to the fact that i have no had any lingering eye problems since my (mostly undiagnosed) trauma

(3) i attended a trivial pursuit pot-luck party at a new friend's house - i met her at the 'girls night' we had about a month ago. to be honest, i really wanted to flake out, go home, get into bed, and watch the 'sex and the city movie' (yes i already saw it, im only slightly embarassed). 

but at the same time-- i knew that if i were new york, i probably would have flaked- i would have thought, why go? i can see her for coffee or whatever some other time. 

so after work, i made myself go for my nightly run and then jumped back into the car; got to her apartment in brickell; made my contribution of spinach salad-- and actually had a good time. there were about 10 of us, crammed into her living room around her coffee table, hovering over trivial pursuit, laughing, shouting, eating shepard's pie for the anglophiles,  tidbitly nidbits, and the most delicious renderings of hummus and collard greens (wholly separate) that ive ever had. practically all of the people there were marine biologists. weird, right?! only here, where there are plenty of fish in the literal sea and coral reefs to explore and snorkling year round, if you can take the "frigid" water. (i put frigid in quotations to express that, even when the water is cold here, it still sometimes feels warmer than it does up the coast in new york or on the cape in the middle of the summer).  plus, perhaps one of the more surprising items of the night? i happen to subconsciously know many odd random things that help with such trivia games. 

(4) i got to spend time with a former co-worker from the firm that i summered at in new york-- he actually works down the block from me, and a handful of us went out to lunch. it was so unbelievably relaxing and fun, and everyone actually had a sarcastic sense of humor so that there was never one of those awkward moments where you think, "do they get me?". they got it. 

(5) one last random note to add to this list; i wore my hair in the classic annie mini-pony today. it barely stayed in its little elastic, but it was trying, out there, in the back, sticking out like some random collection of ... well ... hairs. believe it or not, i got a handful of compliments. although i still dont know if they were really compliments, or underhanded attempts to discourage the mini-pony. fear not, it shall prevail until i schedule a haircut.

(6) its cold here! i mean, i know its cold there. but here, its 58 degrees. come on.

(7) i fell while running today, but kept going!

this optimism thing is working great. lets hope it stays with me throughout the year. or at least, until friday - when im sure i can recharge the battery (sans any preceeding episodes).

and thank you all for your concerns. *you* are the best. yes, you.

xo

its good to be thankful

its been a long long day, full of stress like you cant imagine. i was at work this morning and something happened to my eyes, total distortion and disorientation, and i had to rush to the eye doctor over at mount sinai; my office mate nicole drove me over, waited, and then when it was all over, took me back to work- a comfort that i wouldnt have expected to exist. thankfully nothing is lastingly done, no permanent damage, but it was incredibly scary to think: this is it. i might have distorted vision forever. its not the sort of thing to go into in depth online, it feels too impersonal and awkward and still uncomfortable and unexplainable and yet just grinding back, making me remember that horrible feeling. so instead i will just say that it makes me feel ever so fortunate that most of the time, we worry about senseless little details, like waiting for the cable guy, or if we will run into traffic on the way to work, and whether there are fun evening plans, or if the weekend will be sunny or not. these things always compromise our days and we are lucky, very lucky, that they distract us from those unthinkable things, those things we take for granted: our health, our family, the love that we have in our lives, just being able to breathe and exist. so at the risk of sounding preachy, i am so thankful for all of you and for everything. to many more healthy & happy times ahead. a belated new years wish.

xo

back in effect

finally! internet restored. it was a certain trial this morning-- i didnt sleep very well, worried that i was going to miss the call from atlantic broadband to say that the installer was downstairs. so i was up at 9, anticipating the 'appointment' between 8.30-12.30pm... and lo and behold, after a rather productive and lovely morning of listening to 'this american life', mopping the floors, cleaning insanely, crafting up a pot of rattatoulie with accompanying pasta-- he still hadnt shown. i know this may be hard to believe, but im not like most people on a sunday morning. im up, and i need an activity. unfortunately, i couldnt even leave the house to get the nytimes since i was worried i would miss the service call and thus, miss the appointment. so i waited and waited and grew increasingly skeptical and called and yelled at the cable company. finally, like a twist of miami-ian fate, the guy shows up-- at 1.45pm. and doesnt apologise. barely explains why he is so late. actually has the nerve to say, "hey, i had 7 appointments this morning. some took a while. they shouldnt have scheduled so many for me. its not YOUR fault." (um...... NO, youre right. its not. more likely-- its *your* fault sir, for not calling and letting me know you would be late). this is all while the sun is shining beautifully outside, npr reports that it is climbing in temperature, and the ocean looks sparkling... 

after successfully acting like a cranky mean bitch to the aforementioned cable guy, i finally got outside. spent some time on the beach, took a nice walk uptown a bit, and collected more groceries for a pot of vegetable soup. cooking is so therapeutic-- its so calming and fun and tasty to boot. i love having sundays to cook like this. 

friday night we had drinks at the setai hotel after work, which was very pretty and predictably pricey. its funny, when you're paying $17 for a martini, you start to think- why pay for this when i can pay a few more dollars more for what i really want: a nice glass of verve cliquot. now, i know were in a recession. but when youre paying up the nose anyway, its nice to then whip out a credit card to cover your tasty champagne purchases. this is something i usually would not do- i would shudder to think of it actually- but it so wonderful in the moment.  then we carried on to have dinner at a nearby new-american place for dinner- talula. the food was fine- just that my pasta was overly salted. when i was telling my dad about this, he said, oh you should have sent it back, sent it back. this made me cringe recalling my childhood and even adult experiences with my dad, ordering and sending things back, sitting somewhere and asking for another table after feeling a draft... these things i love about my dad, with reserve of course- they are so him, so new york woody allan neurotic jewish upper west sider. then it made me think-- why *didnt* i say something? on the one hand- i was paying for a moderately-priced meal, i deserved something that didnt make me pucker... on the other hand-- an overly salted pasta dish would likely implicate, to me, that there is something wrong with restaurant- why overly salt anything? wasnt someone paying attention? was it masking something? tastelessness? (this coming from a girl who likes salt). anyway in the end it was just fine, i drank enough water to compensate, and was thankfully in bed by midnight (unless i would turn into a pumpkin!)

yesterday i hit up the rubell family collection, a private art collection that is housed in a large, museum-esque gallery space, to see a new show called '30 americans'-- a show of 30+ african american artists, all contemporary.  we had gone to the opening night dinner-celebration during art basel and i was excitedly able to meet a few of the artists, but i hadnt been able to make it to the show until now. it was so-so, some of the work was good-- i particularly liked one piece that had advertisements from the 1960s through to 2008- juxtaposed together, all featuring african-americans- i.e., what and how companies marketed to them as seen through the ads. it was actually very sociological- which i enjoyed. after spending an hour or two there, i headed to another nearby gallery where there was a collection of some robert rauschenberg prints & paintings- absolutely stunning. i saw them on the walls and wanted one so badly. they were prints, so some of them were in the more "affordable" range - but still 7-8k... oh one day we will be able to support the arts. until then, i am happy with the occasional visits.

its officially a bummer that tomorrow is monday, but i am eating delicious pumpkin pudding and trying to ignore that obviousness. let us wish a wonderful week to us all!

xoxo

P: Feel Good!

So I just got back from a 6 mile run outside along the Charles, and God, I feel good! I don't often have such a positive take on myself/life/things in general, but there's something about getting your adrenaline going in 14 degree real feel temp, and leaping over patches of ice and feeling the bitter wind bite your ears and fingers and you just feel so alive!!!

My roommate's friend Amy joined in on the running group run, and afterwards we had a bagel/egg/sausage/crepes breakfast with everyone. Today was a small turnout, but still that meant like 30 people. Sheesh! So I just showered up and am debating whether I should go to the library, to Espresso Royale, to Starbucks, or if I should just go to Copley Plaza and see if J. Crew is having any sales.

So at breakfast, everyone kept talking about this big snowstorm coming on tonight. We're to get 5-8 inches. I wandered into a conversation where a couple of guys and girls were talking about SNOW BOOTS. I felt like I was in Antarctica or something. Like, in NY everyone talks about apts and rents, in Colorado I bet everyone talks about the ski conditions, and here, people talk about snowstorms.

Last night, my roommate had a really nice dinner party. There were like 15 people--a couple of married couple friends from Smith, some of her Somers/hs crowd, some BU English lit PhD folks...it was a really nice mix of folks. I knew all but the Smith friends, and there was a TON of food (crackers, cheese, hummus, pretzels + dip, chips + salsa, meatatarian baked ziti, salad, bread (my fave!), wine, and like 8 different kinds of dessert. Sheila's mom is so sweet--her parents came in from the Cape yesterday to drop off these huge trays of food and prewashed and chopped salad. They strike me as a very wholesome Irish family, and I say all of this and I've yet to meet her parents.

Anyway, it's been almost 2 hrs since I got home from my run, and I've been wasting time watching 30 Rock and Lipstick Jungle on nbc.com . I think I'm going to read, take a nap whilst reading, eat leftover Queen of Sheba cake (chocolate with a creamy, slightly underdone ganache/almondy/rum-infused center), and look over my notes from yesterday. Before, of course, this big snowstorm takes over!

cheers, P

P: New Year in Boston

The weather is really starting to suck here, surprise, surprise. The sidewalks and streets are a disgusting mix of slush and ice, and essentially the precipitation can't make up its mind as to whether it wants to be sleet or snow or rain or what. I've been less than productive since returning Sunday night, but I have to say, I've had the best of intentions. Sunday I cooked a vegetable stew--zucchini, onion, cabbage, Morningstar fake ground "meat," chicken stock, chili powder, paprika, and kale--I've never cooked with it before, and I thought it would wilt in the stew, so I left them in stringy chunks, but that didn't quite work. I also made a pot of quinoa in the rice cooker, and I'm not used to eating it. It tastes like nothing. At least, nothing appetizing.

Monday night some classmates and I went to Milky Way, a bowling alley-bar-restaurant, where they do a $7 pizza buffet Mon evenings. Naturally, when I am put in front of a buffet, I try to "milk" (get it? pun??) my money's worth. It was in this neighborhood called Jamaica Plain, which is rough around the edges but has recently had a renaissance among artists and lesbians (it's also the origin of the ice cream shop JP Lick's). It's also a pain in the arse to get to. I walked for 20 minutes to catch the #39 bus, rode that for 20 min, then arrived. When I looked it up on a map, it would take the same amount of time just to walk the whole thing door-to-door from my apt, , but you have to cross the Emerald Necklace (the name given to a long string of green park), and it's kind of super ghetto, esp as a single gal at night.

Here's an example of how small world Boston is--a few blocks after I left my apt , I saw a young couple (presumably BU studnets) walking behind me. I was a tiny bit turned around, so I asked them the best way to get to Longwood and Huntington. They pointed me there, and I stopped at CVS to try to fill up my Charlie card (T pass), but they didn't have a T pass htingamabob. Anyway, I get to the 39 bus stop, and I see this couple there. I get off at Perkins St and Centre St, find my way to Milky Way, get a drink at the bar, then meet up with my classmates, and then I see this couple again. It's like, the only place anyone goes to in JP on a Monday night would be this bowling alley bar.

This wouldn't be quite so uncanny if I didn't find that everyone in Boston always refers to the same hot spots in a given neighborhood: Zaftig's deli and Publick House bar in Brookline, Sunset Bar & Grill and Super 88 in Allston, Bukowski's in Back Bay, JJ Foley's near South Station, Grendel's in Harvard Sq, Masa in South End, always Fugakyu for Japanese or Tamarind Bay for Indian... I'm struck by the unanimity in social hotspots for Bostonians young and old, student or professional.

Anyway, bowling at Milky Way was with these small bocce balls, and you get 3 rolls to knock down the pins. I came in 8th place out of 8 people, but what can you do? Bowling's not my forte.

The past couple of days have also been tied up at the BU School of Dental medicine, which is in a kind of pain in the ass location as well. So far I went to 2 separate 2+ hour appts, and I have another 3hr appt in 2 weeks, followed by another consult. I rue the day I dropped $300 for their stupid plan. I tried to stage a coup to get a refund, but the director started ignoring my emails. I was going to threaten to write a negative piece in BU Today on the dental plan (claiming, falsely, that I was a freelancer for the online daily paper), but then my conscience, I guess, thought better of it.

I also made friends with this Korean kid in the theology school, and we are starting a Korean-English language exchange, 1-2x a week. It will be a way for him to practice his English and for me to practice my Korean. Hopefully by the time I'm ready to ship off, I will be better versed in the subtler points of grammar and conversation.

I'm writing today from the BU gym, after having run 4 very slow miles, and having done a couple of free weight exercises and some crunches. I have been taking it easy since I've been back, as I felt a twinge in my knee while running on Monday. I iced it up and took Tues and Wed off, and today was going to go at it to make up for the missed days, but then I started to taste the cofffee I had drunk a few hours earlier coming up the other way. Gross.

Tonight I'm meeting some kids in my running group at this restaurant called The Fireplace in Brookline/Washington Sq--Morgan, Sydney, Christine and I met there for brunch a while back. Thurs nights they do live jazz, so it should be fun! And tomorrow's my roommate's birthday (Morgan, Sheila's a day older than you!), so she's having a little dinner party back at the apt.

Well, wish me a more productive day tomorrow than today!

in love with the tea

every year around this time, i brew myself a little obsession. i fondly remember long hours in the library during finals time, trying to stay warm and hydrated, drinking this beverage and falling head over heels. ok, an exaggeration? not really. its candy cane lane baby, decaf green tea with vanilla and peppermint, and i am the proud owner and constant drinker now in the office. i swear, its the only thing that has gotten me through this week thus far. that, and my apparent turbo-determination to finish my current project in preparation for the next two before the last week of the month. a little hectic. (actually, given the hecticness, i am similarly starting to worry that at some point, the boss will steal mlk day away from us, even though it is again a federal holiday. we all recall what happened to veteran's day though-- straight out the window, predictably perhaps, without so much as an apology or concern. such is the life of working for someone who could be deemed, from time to time, a little obsessive).

(in fact, to continue the tangent, i am actually considering signing up for a run on mlk day morning so that i have to do something fun beforehand. however, this run takes place in an area that, i have been told, is featured in the video game 'grand theft auto' and surrounds projects. now, runs usually take place somewhere scenic, nice, whatever. but a run near burned-out cars, drug dealers, and scary streets? i mean... i dont quite get it. still though, the motivational factor of a day off, in conjunction with the understanding that i will be the proud owner ofa t-shirt that melds both mlk jr and obama together- not kidding - it kind of still makes me want to go).

sadly, internet is officially out at the homestead so i am writing this asap while i finish up work for the day. i kept telling myself that i would finish it all today, finish finish finish. but i am stuck with another edit, printed out in front of me. my goal is to truck through at least half of it so that i can officially move on in the morning, but it still remains a struggle. im sure you can understand patty- but editing one's own work when you feel like youre swimming in incoherence (even if it is, actually, ok writing) is a horrible feeling. i like to distract myself instead with little things, like did i cite that case right? but then remember while im in the middle of that minor project, i actually hate checking citations and it brings back all the horrors and intense rushie-feelings that i had when i used to have to cite-check for the journal in law school. alas alas. we always tend to forget these things, dont we? or at least i do. [paint a glossy picture over it, try not to remember the worst of it... and then you are back there, all over again].

yes actually, speaking OF! last week i had a nightmare that i was late to take the bar exam, and i was running through my elementary school (or was it bronx science?) and i couldnt find my assigned room, and no one knew where i should go, and etc etc etc... it was utter and complete panic. i woke up so tense, scared, horrified that i had showed up 45 minutes late to take the bar. its as if all my fears from childhood reoccurred in a more-recent terror. (i used to have repeating nightmares that i was stuck in my elementary school staircase, running up and down. dont ask. it perhaps had nothing to do with my similar fear of having to walk down my friend lucy's very long hallway in her railroad apartment up on 101st street and broadway). (god, what a great apartment that would be to live in now...).

the week is shaping up and shaping out, and tomorrow will be thursday already. as part of my mom's new years resolution for me (um not kidding), i am trying to make more friends. yay! tonight oddly enough, candice is back in town- although im not sure i can handle not heading-out until 10.30pm on a schoolnight. lame? perhaps. but then again, so, most likely, is the scene. tomorrow night ashley & rachel (the cupcake bakers who work next door) and i will go to a happy hour at la la la monty's, my beloved outdoors bar by the bay, and then i will either go with rachel to a movie w some other girls, or watch football with ashley. honestly, i cant picture either one really-- marley and me versus football? which is more tortorous? but i figure after some oysters and liquorish beverages, i could go either way. (or you know, go home). friday the office-mates and i are out to drinks & dinner as well, although weve all been pretty fickle about picking a locale. my first thought always is of course, montys, but i guess its not as classy as some would like. (chanel's major complaint? the drinks taste like dish water. i must note my strong objections). and saturday, who knows- maybe another night out with ashley. i must also get my little run in so that i dont choke at the halfise, and am totally loving my new nike chip for my shoe. oh, how i missed it.thats the week in a nutshell.

in the meantime, i continue to drink my luscious tea, try to edit, and go back and forth as to whether i can wait out the dark, crazy rainstorm that just errupted outside. we shall see....
miss you kids

xoxo

home again home again, jiggidty-jig

sorry again for the belated writing! believe it or not, i was away for new years eve and enjoying the snowy lands of cape cod in wintertime far too much to get myself sitting infront of a non-fire-based activity. truly though, it has been a wonderful vacation. or rather, was a wonderful vacation. now, as always it is back to the old pulse and grind. is that a saying? or did i make that up?

i flew up to cape cod early on new years eve day, sitting with a crying baby behind me and a parent that apparently thought it was a good time to teach the child a lesson by allowing her to cry and cry and cry, instead of comforting her or telling her to shush. now, i understand, parenting is hard and of course you want to instill values in your lil' uns. but not on a plane, and not with a cranky 2 year old who loves to kick the seat in front (i.e., moi). we landed to see a dusting of snow coming down in boston, but it very quickly became a torrent of snowfall, leading to parts of the drive that equaled "white-outs", where you couldnt see anything in front, except maybe every once in a while, the dim headlights of a car about 2 car lengths ahead of you. kind of scary. youd have to ask someone else, however, about the details of just how scary it was, because this kid was asleep in the backseat. i tell you, its something about me in backseats, warm and toasty, i always fall asleep. i used to even do it in the passenger seat. im like a little baby, rock me away.

anyway nye was lovely and calm, benjamin made a delicious dinner and we sat infront of a fire and i think we managed to avoid any nye television until about an hour before the ball dropped. the rest of the weekend was lovely as well-- a brunch on new years day with some family friends (including adorable playful children of all ages, and an odd concotion called 'bennies', their take on eggs benedict that involved, instead of hollandiase, a pool of butter all over eggs/english muffin/plate. talk about intense); walks in the snow; candlepin bowling and drinking at 2pm on friday; thrift-store hopping; diner-breaksfasting; take-out dinner-ing; and marathon-watching of anthony bourdain's show on the travel channel, no reservations.

back in miami, back at work, remembering what it feels like to get frustrated at myself and my writing, have minor hissy fits (internally) before i just either let it go until the editing stage later, or just take some deep breaths and deal with the trouble in question. its not bad to be back, its just been a long day. one gets used to the long hours of sleep and rest and nothingness and afternoon beers for a while, and then pow... back to reality. i suppose i can look on the bright side but right about now, the only thing rushing me along is the threat of more and more work, piling up, until the end of the month. alas, what is one to do. i remain thankful that its about 5.30pm and still sunny out, and that when i walk out of here, instead of bundling up more in clothing, i will be able to take sweaters off and roll windows down.

my little halfsie marathon is in about 3 weeks, im pretty excited and right about now, its the only thing thats getting me running. that, and i finally have a replacement nike/ipod chip to run along with so that lance armstrong can whisper, "you've just set a personal record!" or perhaps paula radcliff can send a congratulatory, "you just had your fastest mile!". yes, they do insert such comments, and yes, i look forward to them.

new years resolutions? do people still do those? ive got a myriad including:

(a) practice spanish more
(b) run more races
(c) volunteer some free time.

item (b) i am confident i can do, since it only involves a momentary "oh that doesnt sound so bad." items (a) and (c) on the other hand, involve some serious comittment, i.e., kind of like my constant new years resolution of "lift weights." i make it every year. its good for me. but i honestly am so bored by it. well, what can you do. tis the nature of the beast to always think we can accomplish something new with a new year, break up the monotany of winter time, make changes to ourselves. in the end, i think its just a distraction to help us remember that we will not die in the abyss of seasonal affective disorders and clouds and that we, in all likelihood, have seriously eaten too many cookies in the past few weeks and need to get back to normal. enough depressing talk.

im off to finish up some last minute work; ill write again if my internet magically reappears at home although right now, i am sadly thinking it wont happen... please, cant someone de-securitize their wireless?

xoxoxo

P: First Post of 2009; Last NY Post Before the Holidays

Happy 2009! Question: Am I over New York? Or is it that my being under the weather (in crappy weather) has clouded my view of my native city? If I could see all of you everyday, then I'd dread leaving; however, much of my NY vaca was spent lying in bed, blowing my nose and generally feeling sorry for myself. Why? Life is good. But that hedonic treadmill keeps beckoning--to quote Wiki, it's the "theory which compares the pursuit of happiness to a person on a treadmill, who has to keep working just to stay in the same place". So like, if you buy a Toyota Camry, you're happy for like 6 months, but then you want a Lexus. So then you buy a Lexus, and you're happier for 6 months, but then you want a Maserati. And so forth, until you're out of breath on the treadmill.

(HEDONIC TREADMILL)

What does this have to do with my personal "happiness?" Not sure I can articulate it exactly, but I'm getting the sense that January is going to be one cold month. It's usually my most anti-social period, so that will suit well as I kick off into Ha Jin's novella class. I will shortly be emailing to him my proposal for 3 novella topics for his class. Eep.

New Year's Eve was (surprise surprise) pretty t/lame, BUT my expectations had been adjusted accordingly so I guess you couldn't call it anticlimactic (which it tends to be every single year). The highlight was getting to see my nephew, but he had just woken up and was a little frowsy and groggy. Two of you guys were down with food poisoning, the weather had a real feel temp of negative 5 degrees, and I also didn't want to end up at parties with just couples (was invited to a couples' potluck and also a diff party where there promised to be single people but one would include a friend who had a falling out with another friend of mine--I wished to avoid such potential drama/awkwardness), AND I didn't want to have to figure out how to get from Brooklyn back to Queens in (aforementioned) negative five degree weather when I still had the sniffles. So I figured I should spend time with the very people that gave birth to me: my parents. My family and I go to the movies about once every two years, and every single time, my parents fall asleep and start snoring--loudly--in the theatre. Or, my mother nudges me every five seconds to ask, "Eh, what did they just say?" And I have to translate loud enough so she can hear, and then Umma ends up falling asleep anyway.

So we saw Yes Man, and I have to say--I was pleasantly surprised. I actually quite enjoyed it, and I don't really like Jim Carrey. I do, however, really like Zooey Deschanel, although I cringed a little in all of their make-out scenes, for two reasons: (1) I was with my parents and (2) Jim Carrey is like, 20 years older than Zooey. Awk! (18 YEAR AGE DIFFERENCE--AWKWARD!)

I later realized Peyton Reed directed it, and then I got all happy--I am a SUCKER for his films. Down with Love? Bring It On? SIGH!

(PEYTON REED!)

We then snuck into Four Christmases, which had to be one of the WORST movies ever. I don't know what crack Tony Scott (i.e., A.O.) was smoking when he wrote this rather flattering NYT review. Anyway, I'm over it.

So it goes. I'm going to go pack my stuff, do laundry, and figure out when I'm heading back to Boston to do work. Happy New Year, everybody!