oh no you didnt

i cant believe you went there patty p. im going to ignore the first half of your post, if you dont mind. instead, i will go back to talking to my dad on the phone (whattup papa b!) and watching l.a. story. 

otherwise? eating turkey -- 7 day countdown!!!

xo

Snatches and Trimming

Hey Annie,
Vaginal cream??? Oh man, that sucks. My question, though, is whether you bought the vaginal cream thinking it was the anti-itch cream for your skin, or whether you mistakenly grabbed your pre-existing vag cream... Or perhaps some things are better left unsaid.

Anyway, I am trying my best to plow through as much work as possible before the weekend! Morgan is coming to town (WHOOP WHOOP!), and we are going to have brunch with Sydney and possibly the newly married Christine. I've spent the past two days sitting in classes taught by my classmates, taking notes so I can be all prepped for next semester, when I teach a class of undergrads all by myself! Exciting. At the same time, I hope I don't get really annoying students who come to ALL of my office hours, etc etc.

I spent the past 7 hours cutting 9 pages of my writing. I have a story that's 33 pages, and my instructor Allegra tells me she not only wants me to add scenes between the dad and the uncle, but she wants me to cut the whole thing down to 20 pages. I've heard the expression "Kill your darlings" and I know you have to do that as a writer, but (now I'm about to say something extremely writerly and pretentious) I feel like my narrative voice is being squelched! Why CAN'T I use the second person, addressing the reader? Why can't I "anthropologize" the Korean culture, saying things like "All Korean women suffered from the same affliction--a flat butt" or "The Korean language could be relied on for such hyperbolic turns of phrase..."? Doesn't David Sedaris do it? Why the heck not? Okay, it's not the most stellar of writing, but I'm feeling extremely suppressed. And I don't understand why it's going to take me the better part of a week to trim my work. This is supposed to be the easy part!

$#&*@!$*!!!

a medicinal story & e.t.c.

im pretty pooped so am going to try & keep this short... you all know about this little rash ive had for the past week and a half, and recently i started putting this amazing lavender-tea tree oil salve that i have on it, whenever the desire to scratch arises. it has been incredibly soothing. plus, it feels great to constantly be moisturizing yourself. try it sometime. i mean, so long as you have your own office and no one will wonder why you keep putting lotion all over your left shoulder, every 15 minutes.

but earlier this evening, when i got back from my run, i was so grossed out by one portion of my arm (the upper left, on the back of my arm)- because there were these 3 small welt-like things, like i had just been bitten by some rabid mosquitos or something. i knew they were part of whatever allergic reaction ive been dealing with, so i wasnt troubled by them or anything- i was just grossed out you know? so i open my medicine cabinet, grab this bottle that says "anti itch cream" and start slathering it all over my arms, then my neck-- anywhere else i see bumps and/or am itchy. after rubbing it, i think to myself, hmmm this doesnt smell like calamine lotion or anything--- and go to pick the bottle up. in very small print it says "compare to extra strength vagasil".

it was just too classic for words. for a brief moment, i thought, oh no! thats gross! but then i realized the smell it gave off was faintly of rose, and i figured, hey, if you can put this in your nether regions, then im sure it must be safe for arms! (i also amuzingly thought i was the kind of person that, if a friend or child or whomever was itchy and i had that cream, i would make them use it without disclosing what it was really for. i mean, its practical right?).

other than that, the only things really getting me through this week are, in no apparent order,
(1) my turkey chili
(2) knowing thanksgiving is next week
(3) the highly amuzing "news" in miami that we are experiencing a "cold front" that is dropping the temperature tonight to an all time LOW of... 52 degrees.
(yes, suckers, check that one out. )

today excitingly i also got my official 'bar passing' notice in the mail. it is with my pleasure to let you know that i have been "certified to the first department commission on character and fitness." so if and when i put together all my affidavits and letters and whatever else they require to review me, you all will be the first to know. i am expecting it to take about a year before they officially admit me, so we can all celebrate then in *person*.

oh geez, i almost forgot. i have bad news. i am officially changing my license on friday to become a floridian. im not that into it either, but i figured, the next time i get pulled over by a cop, he might not be of the young swaggering latino gentlemanly type, but of the angry bitter version, and not let me get away with still having a nys license whilst living here. so, over a month late, i will go to the dmv and floridize myself. floridianize myself? floridazzle myself? i dont know. its hopeless. even more hopeless is knowing that i will have to wait in line at the nys dmv sometime in the coming year to change it all back. this will hopefully mean, however, that i will no longer have a license picture from age 19 (holler back morgan!) where people do not recognize me and then after finally convicing them that yes, that was me, they say "i like you with short hair" as if i just changed it. thanks guys, thanks. with that, i bid thee adieu.

xoxo

Brrr--It's Getting Cold Round These Parts!

After the freakishly wet, freakishly warm front of Saturday, Boston has officially become cold. Tonight's getting down to 27 degrees--can you freakin believe--and tomorrow's high is 40, plus wind chill. I had a fairly mediocre day today. I put myself to bed last night at 12:30, yet I slept until almost 11am this morning. I have no idea why I was so tired. Oh wait, actually I do--I was making up for Saturday night. But even still--that was kind of ridiculous. I wrestled with BU Dental School on the phone all morning (rather, what was left of the morning), trying to figure out if I should do the student dental plan--$300 for the year, but it covers two $50 cleanings and a mandatory X-ray consultation. Meanwhile, I have crazy work I need to get done on one of my teeth, which will cost me $500-1000. So I emailed my dentist back in NY (we are on a first-name, emailing basis because I've parted with thousands of dollars to him) to see if I could try to cram in all of my work over Xmas break (he charges 3x what the dental school charges, however).

Anyway, I had my revision workshop with Allegra Goodman (she walks the fine line between literary and commercial fiction, and I really admire her writing), ran 3 miles at the gym, lifted some free weights, came home, showered, heated up a Trader Joe's burrito, had some microwave/steamed brussel sprouts, and headed to the library. Where I'm at now. Actually, I just ran out in the freezing cold--sans jacket--to buy a can of diet Pepsi so I could resume revisions on this short story I'm working on...it's called "Pound Foolish" and it's about these two cousins that are kind of in competition. The narrator comes from the kind of penny-pinching family that eats bruised apples and dented cans of tuna fish, and has to wear hand-me-down clothes, while her cousin lives in this huge house in Long Island, and gets as many My Little Pony dolls as her heart desires, and she's kind of JAPpy (even though she's Korean). They go to the mall together (but not like the Canadian pop star "Robin Sparkles'" hit song "Let's Go to the Mall"), and the cousin buys all of this expensive BCBG clothing, while the narrator looks on (she don't got her parents' credit cards to burn). Also, the narrator is super jealous of her cousin because she's prettier, cooler, and more popular, and she gets invited to more bar/bat mitzvah's then she does, and has lots of boyfriends. But in actuality, the cousin is also jealous of the narrator because she's smarter, and her parents don't fight all the time, etc etc.

God, I just bored myself with that description. Needless to say, most of my writing is a thinly veiled account of my own life, because it's just SO interesting that it deserves to be made into literature. Sheesh.

Well, back to plugging on--wish me luck!

the "finally" bounty

i too woke up early this morning! i was first planning on going to a running group in hollywood, florida w other people training for the 1/2 marathon (except they are doing the ft lauderdale feb. version), but decided not to set my alarm. i still was up by 8.45, so decided to instead do my own run. i headed out in shorts and a tank top, naturally, but found a *cold* front had moved in. i.e., it was 65 degrees and windy. nonetheless, i braved on. it actually made the run better. for the first time, i brought a bottle of water with me, which i continued to metaphorically pat myself on the back about the whole time. the best part of the run, other than the beauty of the morning, the hot sun, cool breeze, and sparkling ocean, was that i was keeping pace with an older runner for the entire way back (about 4 miles back up the beach). sometimes he would get ahead, pass me, and then i would do the same to him. towards the end, he passed me again, turned to me and said, "great run!". to which i replied the same to him. it really started off the day on a lovely note. 

after some laziness, i tackled yet another supposed "farmers market". now now, you know, ive become bitter as the only farm products i ever see down here are grapefruits and lemons/limes, maybe papayas, mangoes, and guava. dont get me wrong, i love that stuff, but sometimes a girl just craves the bounty plenty of union square. so after getting momentarily lost, not being able to take any right turns for several blocks, etc, i finally got to the vagabond market. (read that to see a little crazy miami controversy behind it via the architecture). its a new flea market/farmers market at an old hotel in miami proper, where apparently frank sinatra used to hang. dont ask me. this city is full of that kind of crap. 

anyway, after being so franticized by the traffic and getting lost, i was so pleasantly surprised when i walked in and saw a handful (albeit a small handful) of vendors selling farm-fresh-local herbs, eggplant, string beans, lettuce, tomatoes (ALL organic- amazing!), fresh breads, pastries, empanadas (this is miami you know), flowers, and one guy selling top-notch argentinian organic beef.  i could barely believe my ears after getting some beautiful eggplants for $2 total, whereby the lady at the stand (she was an older lady who would have been naturally beautiful, but you could tell there was some workage done), handed over a bag of string beans gratis, since she said she didnt want them to go to waste. let me tell you, ive been to my fair share of f-markets, and this has never happened. then i met the tomato guy, who told me all about their natural goodness, where i got 4 farm-fresh beauties for $1. i mean.... where have these people been since sept. 15?? sad to say, the beef was all sold out, but theres always next weekend. below, some photogs of my bounty.

miami finally did me good.

i almost put this happy feeling into jeopardy, when i decided to try & hit up the forever-21 up in the aventura neighborhood, which, sadly, was in a mall. even worse? everyone was doing valet parking. i still dont get that. and there were no spots. i trolled around for about 10 minutes, worried the entire time that i was going to get hit since crazy parking lot drivers are really common. i finally managed to get inside the mall, where apparently, it was already december 25th. there was a christmas land, all christmas music playing, full of hundreds of people shopping. (do they know that its only nov. 16????).  finally i approached the meca of trashy low-cost fashion, and was so relieved- it was chock full of polyester goods that i could not refuse. i wont waste time discussing, but i must say-- forever 21 outside of ny is much less intimidating, crowded, loud or annoying, PLUS, they had a wholly-separate accessory store where i was able to purchase a hundred more crappy necklaces that i love, and knock-off raybans. i meannnnnnn, happiness is at an all time high over here. all i need is my own science themed bar, i tell you, and id be golden!!

this happiness then projected me right into mopping my entire apt. it is now squeaky clean, there is a pot of turkey-bean chili bubbling on the stove top, and my only regret is that weekends arent longer.  my eggplants say, goodnight sunday, and thank you.

xoxo

Only in Boston--Mixing Beer with Chemistry

First off: I should NOT be up this early. If I went to bed at 2:45am, then shouldn't I still be sleeping about now? Last night I attempted to go to the birthday party of this girl in my running group. Operative word: "attempted." My friend Christine (from Swat) and I waited in line for this stupid club called Middlesex Lounge for almost one hour. We were flanked by two groups of douchey frat guys who were shouting over us. So Christine and I decided to suggest that the two groups needn't be separated; if we moved ahead of them, then they could be together. They didn't bite. Anyway, Christine and I are in these little dresses and boots, and it's raining (thankfully it was super warm out), and finally we decided it wasn't even worth it. Neither of us were really into the club scene, and if the frat guys in line with us were any indication of what the inside would be like, then we weren't having it.

On the same block was this really cute-looking bar called Miracle of Science --a science-themed bar where the menu is written in the style of a periodic table. Only in Cambridge. As we started towards the bar, I heard someone shouting out my name. At the back of the line to Middlesex was a group of these guys from my running club. They decided to throw in the towel with us, and we all headed to the bar. It was kind of one of those random nights where things just fell into place. As of 8pm that night I had no idea what my plans were going to be. I had yet to hear back from Vince, I wasn't sure if I should crash this other party, etc etc. Anyway, more people from the running group eventually made their way into the bar, and it ended up being a really fun night. Granted, EVERYONE in the group is either a software engineer or computer programmer, and a little dorky (how apropos, then, that we were drinking in a science-themed bar), but they're all really nice and friendly. I need to stop being so surprised by that--it's not really a novelty.

(Photo courtesy of miracleofscience.us)

i love saturdays

first, i must admit, im not a big fan of sangria in general. i find it is almost always too sweet a concoction, with not enough hard-core liquor in it. (you know what kind of girl i am: reference my love of hanger bar staten island iced tea- pure vodka baby). although i have had wonderful experiences with it when someone has made it at home, its usually just too cloyish to me.

so of course yesterday was very thrilling to get the good news. we were supposed to be able to find out at about 9am, but the online results website was totally fucked, excuse my language. thankfully i didnt sit there all morning trying- i was in court for several hours before i then went to check. but the website was doing that very-sllooooowwwww-loading thing, where the little circle goes round and round, and eventually times out. it was painful. several hours later, around 2.30, blake IM-ed me and asked if i had passed- to which i responded, i still had no idea! he then got someone to send me the link to yet, another site, where apparently you could check. i cannot even begin to imagine how many angry, crazy law students were calling the NY bar association beginning at 9am on the dot, complaining the the high heavens, yelling, shrieking, pulling out hair. dont be deceived by me, i may appear like a normal person, but believe you me, i went to school with tons of type A psychofaces who would do such a thing. this is similar to the kind of person who would anally complain about anything & everything that was not perfect with an exam or whatnot. (at least i hope you all dont think such things of me!).  so i finally got the link, and my heart was about to beat itself right out of my chest, it was so nauseating, i could barely breathe as i typed in my bar code and dob and then pressed return... it took me to another page, with the huge long paragraph that, at the time, i could barely read. actually, i dont think i read it in full at all, because i was just scanning it as quickly as i possibly could- WELL???? pass or fail????? and FINALLY i see the word, "congratulations".  they sure do like to keep the suspense up, now dont they? as im sure you can imagine, it was a huge relief, and although many people told me before-and-after that point that they always knew i would pass, ive got to tell you--- there were some moments in the past few months where i would think of one question, just totally hyper focus on some question that i vaguely remembered from the bar, and think, "now.... i think i put answer A, but then i know i changed it to B... and then later went back and changed it to A.... now.... let me see.... was that right?". these things haunt you! so it was a huge relief.

after work then, when someone down the hall suggested happy hour,  while i was secretly excited about going home and opening the champagne, ordering some sushi, and basking in my wonderfulness solo, pajama style, i couldnt really refuse drinks with company. 

we went of course, to my one and only tikibar on the water, where we sat outside, drank pitchers of bass, and reveled in the raw bar happy hour: huge, out of this world gulf-oysters, 3 for $2; peel and eat shrimp, also 3 for $2; the famous miami snow crab claws, 2 for $6... i was in heaven. there were of course, many more people there than had been the other night when i was there with blake, but its fairly easy to ignore trashy people when your face is deep into some raw seafood.

drinks ended around 9, and i headed back up to my apartment. the evening finished with my watching the rest of californication, season one, on dvd. have you seen it? it is pretty great. i cant stop at just one episode though, so its dangerous. it makes me wonder, where has david ducovny been all these years? i dont care about his sex addiction. he just brings me back to the x files, and i swoon. ((oh moulder and scully, whatever happened to your love affair????))

this morning, or rather, afternoon, i woke up after a long sleep and headed straight to the beach with some old us weekly magazines, hand-me-downs from another coworker. who could ask for more? i was laying there in the sun, a cool breeze, 85 degrees, reading trash and drinking diet coke. everytime i want to diss miami, i remember these kind of weekends. yes, of course, after a few hours i am too hot or need to pee or need to eat and must flee the beach and then later find some activity to entertain me for the rest of the night, which can be boring solo, but you know, its a pretty great life, all in all. i had my long run on the beach, just made dinner, and am off to take a drive & hopefully fulfill my mission of hacking into my ipod/nike device, so i can finally change the battery. its really genius, actually. you cant buy a new battery from ipod or nike, but theres a website where they tell you how to hack the thing open, break out the battery, and glue in another battery, that fits. how brilliant is the internet??? i mean, its mostly full of crap, but i will always appreciate- (other than cw.com  playing gossip girl online)- random fun websites that give you little projects on a quiet night....

xo