P: Diane in Boston Part II- Harpoon, House Parties, & Other Shenanigans

So, where did I leave off? Diane and I walked around Beacon Hill, then decided to walk in the general direction of Harpoon Brewery, where we were going to partake in a 2pm brewery tour. We then happened to stumble upon Diane’s friend Mike’s office in Chinatown, so she sent a witty little text saying “Look outside your window,” as, well, well, we were perched just outside of his window. He calls back to say he’s not at work but instead out to lunch at the Barking Crab, a seafood tented joint on the waterfront, where my parents took me out for lobster back in Oct.

So Diane and I head there, because it’s on the way to the brewery, and what better way to celebrate a beautiful Friday than to head to a waterfront tent? And…why NOT start drinking an Ipswich Ale pint at 12:30pm?

Diane, Mike, and Mike’s coworker Stephanie

We tell Mike we’re off to Harpoon, and there’s this little glimmer in his eye, and we know he’s going to come, too. And low and behold—he shows up 12 min after we did, after he finished up his lunch. They have like 8 different beers on tap, including this massively potent Leviathan Imperial IPA and the Leviathan Pilsner. Now I’m into hoppy beers, but the Imperial IPA just numbed my tastebuds, it was so strong! Something like 9% alcohol. We only had small samples in the hour-long tour, but it was fun nonetheless.

Time for a Harpoon? Methinks: yes!

Ode to Harpoon!

Next, it was off to the ICA, or the Institute of Contemporary Art, and while we didn’t go to see the Shepherd Fairey exhibit (you can see the image of Andre the Giant’s face at the top of the structure), we did admire the architecture.

Well, Diane and Mike did, while I tried to carry my own throughout the conversation. E.g., “What is a cantilever?” Well, besides Frank Lloyd Wright’s famous FallingWater, the ICA structure is cantileverers on crack. Here is an example:

THe overhang is the cantilevered part, and you can see the Puma City building in the distance.

Next it was off to Puma City, where they set up a warehouse structure with a shop, a bar, and they’re co-sponsoring the Volvo Ocean races or whatever it’s called. Anyway, it was kind of cool.

I’m on a boat! (What?)

Cantilevers!

Legoland. This is about when Mike and Diane started using their robotic voices. In the distant future. In the year 2000. Robot solo: 011100000….

This was unfortunately the nasty-ass beer they had on offering at Puma City. It tasted like Natty Light. However, Diane and Mike were led to buy this beer because at the bar was an employee of the Brewery (Narragansett is based in Rochester, NY and has the most unpronunceable name ever.)

Then we headed to Bukowski’s Tavern, because Diane has been intrigued by the Dead Authors’ club they have there (it’s essentially a drinking challenge, and the spoils include getting to have drink from a stein with the name of your favorite dead author on it). But we were so dead tired from the day! Drinking early in the day, walking around in the hot sun, and doing more beer sampling leaves one pretty tired. So Diane and I headed home to powernap, before heading to what we thought for sure was going to be an awkward house party. It was this random guy I met at this space prom party awhile back, who asked for my email to fwd me an article. Which he sent, and continued a little email dialogue sending other articles my way. I didn’t quite understand what his M.O. was. In NY, it would definitely mean, ohmigod, he’s so into you. But in Boston, people don’t seem to operate that way. It’s like, oh, let’s be friends. It’s like college all over again. Plus this guy was a bit much, emailing and facebooking me before I even responded to him. Overload! He invited me to a party last wknd which I couldn’t make, then invited me to another one. I could barely remember what he even looked like.

So we head to this party in Cambridgeport, near running club, and it is dorktastic. Well, err… emphasis on the dork part. Actually, it’s just straight-up dorky. Diane’s gay-dar was completely off. SHe pegged one guy as being straight, until his tall, also similarly straight-reading boyfriend came up to him and kissed him smack on the lips. There was this small, beefy-looking guy that Diane said, “ohmigod, he’s totally gay,” until he told us something or other about his first girlfriend.

Diane at one point gets cornered by this guy who actually had the potential to be really cute. Although he was wearing a fake parrot clipped to his shoulder, along with a plastic swash-buckling sword. And no, it was NOT a theme party! And when I tell him Diane’s an architect, he’s like OHMIGOD, I LOVE architects! That’s why you have such great style! he said, pointing to her glasses. So I thought I’d leave them alone for awhile, not knowing that he was so socially RETARDED! Diane can fill in the blanks about their convo in the Comments section.

Because while she was talking to the pirate guy (again, NOT a theme party), the guy who invited me was doing a drive-by hello before being surrounded by a bevy of Deshi girls. That’s fine; I mean, he was the co-host, and he had to attend to everyone. I just couldn’t understand why he was so all about the follow-up after I talked to him for all of 20 min at a party a month ago; I mean, it was a bit much (responding to my emails within twenty min, even though it’d take me 3 days to get back to him) …AND I didn’t remember him being that cute. I’m thinking to myself, why’s this guy so persistent? But then when we got to the party, I was like, oh wait, he actually IS kind of attractive. But then he’s all, let me talk to you for all of 5 seconds. Diane and I came to the conclusion that he’s just a networker. And again, just as Diane was baffled by the straight or gay question, I’m baffled by the are-they-interested-or-just-being-friends scenario.

Diane manages to look both hipster and Banana Republican at the same time.

So I thought I looked like hot sh*t that night, but now I realized I just looked pregnant = (.

This way for Part III…